Sisterhood.

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I am suffering badly from post-Valentine's aftermath.

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So I decided to make myself happier...

AT THE EXPENSE OF OTHERS.

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This is Ru Hua..

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Some Really Classic Taiwanese comedian..

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If you don't know who is she.

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You must either be borned on yesterday and is viewing my blog now.

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Or borned today and is going to view my blog later.

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Okay. Before all the "SHE'S GOD DAMN UGLY" starts..

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I must acknowledge her courage.

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I wouldn't do that even if you offer me 3 lorries of hunks.

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* make it 4 and I'll give it a thought.*

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I don't care if you feel that you can never get enough of her...

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Or is starting to get all nausea..

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Presenting Your Greatest

Fantasy/Nightmare..

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MINI HUA~!

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LIKE IT?

LOVE IT!!!

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HURRY !

Set it as your desktop or mobile wallpaper.

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You may even print it all over your pyjamas!

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HALT !! ... Are you having the URGE to create your own mini- you, me or enemy ??

Or do you feel your COMPULSION screaming

"GO CREATE A GOD DAMN MINI TOO

AND USE IT AS A VOODOO ON YOUR IRRITATING CLASSMATE

WHO KEPT BITCHING ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU SUCK!"

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Log on to http://www.nike.com/nikeos/p/nikewomen/en_SG/training_tool

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To Dearest Sisters...

Ugliness may be something one can be borned with BUT definitely not stucked with..

Ru Hua was paid be to be ugly.. But you aren't so what's the point of remaining ugly !

There's practically NO excuse to do that anymore! YAY!!

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But if you have chose to do NOTHING about it... and stay that way forever..

Just remember this.. You can RUN but you can't HIDE.

So.. Get a pair of good shoes and keep running then..

At least you will be an ugly but skinny person.

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Nike Zoom Sister One+, The ultimate training shoe for women

http://nikewomen.com.sg

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Valentine's Your Head !

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It's Valentine's Day

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DREAD stepping out of my house today. If it wasn't for xin, I would be sitting by the window THROWING EGGS AT THOSE GODDAMN LOVING COUPLES!

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It's okay.. You all are just morons being cheated by commercialism. I guffaw hard at your stupidity.

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GOD SEND ME A BLOODY DATE TOO!!!!!!.

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All in all.. I've spent most of my Valentine's with Na Na and Grandma.

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ISN'T THAT INCORRIGIBLY ROMANTIC??!! LOVE IT!! ^^ *ya right*

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Now leave me alone...and let me die of loneliness .

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Was it me or everyone?

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Each time I try to convince people that it is possible to smell your own nose.

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The whole universe laughs at me.

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In return, they try to convince me it's the nose shit that I smell.

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Each time I try to convince people that zebra is a black horse with white stripes.

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The whole universe tries to tell me they are white horses with black stripes.

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Each time I have doubts for different religions and practices.

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People insists that I am prejudiced.

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No. You blindly follow.

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While I am not fervent.

I stay conscious enough to point out.

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The whole world's against me.

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Or

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Was it me against the whole world.

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BYE.

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WHAT THE FUCK.

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FINALLY ALL THE REPORTS AND PROJECTS ARE CLEARED.

LAST SEMESTER, I DIDN'T KILL SOMEONE TO SACRIFICE TO THE GOD.

HENCE, GOD PUNISHED ME BY SENDING DHINEESH TO MY GROUP.

I MUST SAY THAT HE'S IS ONE MARVELLOUSLY THICK-SKINNED SON OF A BITCH.

AND YES! I DID CAUSED YOU TO FORWARD MODULE INDIRECTLY,

ALL TO GET YOUR FUCKING BLACK HUSKY ASS OUTTA THE CLASS.

ALL I DID WAS TO MAKE IT A HABIT TO PUT

*PS: Please deduct __ marks from Dhineesh as ZERO contribution was made.*

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EVERYTIME ASK YOU WHERE THE FUCK IS THE QUESTIONS FOR THE REPORT

AND YOU WILL GO

"I just broke up with my girlfriend. And now I've got this girl around me. We got make out, and do whatever couples should do..."

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OI YOU BLOODY HAIRY PIECE OF CHARCOAL.

SHUT UP FUCKING BIG MOUTH WITH

YOUR HANDLEBAR MOUSTACHE

HANGING ALL OVER YOUR LIPS

LIKE ALI BA BA.

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HELLO!

DO I LOOK LIKE I GIVE A SLIGHTEST DAMN TO YOU AND YOUR HINDI POOPIE GIRLFRIEND.

I'LL ASK LORD KHRISHNA, VHISNU AND SHIVA TO SUBDUE YOU AND YOUR MATE,

YOU HORNY HINDI HYENAS!

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THIS SEMESTER, I KILLED DHINEESH TO SACRIFICE TO THE GOD.

BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG MISTAKE!!

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AS YOU KNOW. KINDNESS BEGETS KINDNESS.

SO INDIAN BEGETS ANOTHER FUCKING CHEE BYE INDIAN!

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YOU TOTALLY GOT THE WRONG IDEA LORD KHRISHNA, VHISNU AND SHIVA !!

THAT'S NOT WHAT I ASKED FOR.

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THIS TIME I TOTALLY STROKE LOTTERY.

I'VE GOT ANOTHER SON OF A BITCH.

INTRODUCING ORH PER OF THE YEAR, SAKTHIES.

I'M SUPER TOUCHED.

I'VE GOT TWO ORH PER IN A ROW.

WHY NOT SEND ME ANOTHER " BALA, SAMMI OR MUTHU" SO THAT I CAN SQUASH THEM INTO 3 BLACK DOTS AND FORM

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A WINNING LINE IN TIC-TAC-TOE.

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DEAR SAKTHIES, YOU'VE GOT A SPECIAL NAME WHICH

REFLECTS CHASTITY AND PURITY.

" SUCK THIS "
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PERHAPS THESE ARE THE LAST WORDS YOU MOM HEARD BEFORE YOU WERE OFFICIALLY MADE.

SHE WANTS TO REMIND HERSELF HOW GREAT A MISTAKE YOU WERE EVERYTIME SHE CALLS OUT TO YOU.

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BY THE WAY YOU BLACKIE, DON'T BE TOO HAPPY JUST BECAUSE I HAVEN'T POINT OUT WHAT FUCKED UP SHITS YOU POOPED ON ME.

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YOU WERE THE MOST RETARD HUMAN I'VE EVER MET.

WHO ON EARTH IN THE RIGHT MIND WOULD SPRAY PERFUME FROM HEAD TO TOE AND EVEN ON THE SHOES AND THE SOLES.

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WHAT'S MORE. HELLO!! YOU'RE IN THE LAB!

AND HELLO AGAIN!!! WE'RE HAVING PRACTICAL!

HELLO HELLO HELLO????

YOU WANT ME TO GIVE A BIG KNOCK ON YOUR BRAINLESS EMPTY BLACK CONTAINER??!!

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DO I NEED TO REMIND YOU TO LIFT UP EVERY SINGLE STRAND OF YOUR WIRY ARMPIT HAIR AND GLOSS THEM WITH YOUR STOLEN TOILET REFRESHENER PERFUME?

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DID YOU HAVE CURRY POWDER POISONING?!

OR DO YOU THINK YOU ARE SOME BOLLYWOOD HINDI SUPERSTARRRRRRR?

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WAKE UP!

I'LL GIVE YOU ALL MY SAVINGS TO OPEN A MA-MA SHOP IF YOU WANT

BUT PLEASE KINDLY GIVE ME QUALITY IF NOT AT LEAST RELEVANT WORK!!!

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QUALITY WORK IS...

NOT MAKING IT SO OBVIOUS THAT YOU CONVENIENTLY PRINT SCREEN AND 'PIAK' THE WHOLE GODDAMN REPORT ON TO A WORD DOCUMENT.

THE BEST PART IS THAT YOU EVEN INCLUDE THE SUPPLIERS' NUMBER AND HAPPILY THINK NO ONE WOULD REALISE!

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I'M NOT BLIND. I JUST HAVE SMALLERS EYES.

I CAN STILL SEE THE FUCKING

"FOR MORE DETAILS, PLEASE CONTACT OUR SALES STUFF"

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FUCK YOU, YOU GUNDO!!!!

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OEIIIII

YOU WANT ME TO START A PETITION TO REMOVE THE WHITE LINES OF ALL ZEBRA CROSSINGS IN SP??!!!

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SO THAT CHANCES OF YOU BEING KNOCK DOWN WILL BE HIGHER.

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OH GOD.. PUKING ALL MY UNHAPPINESS OUT FEELS GOOD.

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RANTING IS ORGASMIC.

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BYE.

LOOK!

Good Afternoon.

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As you all know, Valentine's Day is coming..
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It's so near that I swear I can see

tiny little heart shapes with fluffy white wings

floating around.

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Wouldn't it be MARVELLOUS to be able to spread the passion and share the love.
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Buying gifts is the greatest way to express your love..
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And buying a Barbie Phone will DEFINITELY be the most ingenious way

to kick someone into the

Holy Fountain of Love!
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PLEASE LET ME SWIM IN THE HOLY FOUNTAIN OF LOVE!

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BUY ME A BARBIE PHONE!!!!!!

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Alright, in case you wanna buy it for your girlfriend instead of me (you bloody ignorant fucker)
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Go get it from http://alohacloset.blogspot.com/
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THIS IS NOT

AN ADVERTORIAL OKAY~

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I'm just totally grateful to the owner for allowing me to get to know the existence of such lovely lovable phone. Though I'm not buying it. But looking at pretty and lovely stuff brightens up my day equally.
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I'm on a strict Save-Alot-Of-Money plan.
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So I am not suppose to break the Cannot-Buy-A-Barbie-Phone-You-Pathetic-BItch rule.
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As you can see..

It's in the shape of a compact powder.

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HOW BLOODY CUTE

CAN IT GET

YOU TELL ME !

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I must admit it is a bimbo phone.

With sub-standard camera and functions.

but.

IT'S CHIO.

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I know I look like some senile breast-sagging granny.
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But can you just take pity on me and buy me a BARBIE PHONE.
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BYE.

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Thanks SP.

GOD
DAMN IT !

I've just received a bloody warning letter from SP.

FUCK!!!

The best part is that my dad's got a copy too.

I FUCK YOU, SCHOOL.

Where are all your SAVE THE TREES principles.

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This was mine~
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This was Daddy's...

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Dear Sir/Madam,

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FAILURE TO MEET ATTENDANCE REQUIREMENT UNDER THE EXAMINATIONS RULES (need to capitalise the alphabets meh? Afraid that my dad doesn't have microscopic eyesight ah?!)

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This is to inform you that........, your attendance in class...did not meet the minimum requirement as set....Sinagapore Polytechnic Examination Rules. (Why won't you send a letter telling my dad how much effort i put in to make myself look hot in school everyday.)

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The Examinations Board has therefore decided....., you will be given only a Pass(P) or Fail(F) grade in the following module....blah Blah YADA YADAAAA.. (Therefore, Miss Hottie Grace has decided to shove my middle finger up your fuck face to express my gratitude and you will be given a chance to Phuck(P) or Fuck (F) 500 dogs in 2 minutes..)

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This is so bloody irritating.

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Oh well. Whatever, School.

It doesn't matter.

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I swear I'll steal 5 toilet rolls everyday from now on till I graduate.

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BYE.

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I Have The Last Say

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Tell me.

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Can you spot the big fat cross on the

top right hand corner of the screen ?

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Everyone has the right to read my blog

and of course leave anytime they like.

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But not everyone has the right to shoot their mouths off.

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No no~ Uh-uhh~

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At least not in

My Blog My Tagboard My Sight.

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Just being curious.

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Does your mom has Gonorrhea??

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I really can't find any other reason

that had caused your blindness.

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You DO know what's Gonorrhea RIGHT ?

or DO YOU NOT ?

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*smiles*

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Don't Worry, You Pathetic Thing.

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That's what happens when

YOUR MOM SLEEPS AROUND.

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So you know why you're nameless huh?

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CAUSE

YOUR MOM DIDN'T KNOW

WHOSE SURNAME

YOU SHOULD TAKE AFTER.

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That's why everyone calls you

'Da Son of a Bitch'

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Now you know why

your mom uses a baseball bat

instead of tampons?

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Hey hey. Don't try to correct me

and tell me your real gender.

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That's like TOTALLY HUMBLE.

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You know I can easy google it out, don't you.

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I mean what's so difficult.

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Afterall, your mom sleeps around.

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There may even be a wikipage.

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WHO KNOWS.

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Alright.

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Now let's end the post

with some lovely and adorable

wonders on Earth.

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She's such a Darling.

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Bye.

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I rule. You suck.

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I am a critical person.

Yes. I do LOVE to criticise.

And NO. I do not look at myself before criticising..

Why should I ? I wouldn't criticise myself anyway.


So WAKE UP THE MORONIC IDEA.

Shut up and swallow your hackneyed shit !


Firstly. I am totally disgusted by people, or should i be mean and say FAT ONES,

wearing AIR-TIGHT leggings and a pathetic tiny top which is totally so not enough to cover their butts.

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As a result?

They allow their wobbly fat butts hanging down like

two humongous flaps

SAVE ME FROM

THE CATASTROPHE !

GUAN YIN MA !

. What's Lagi Lagi Bagus Bagus Best Best~?

Their gigantic flaps sway from one end of the Earth to the other as they stroll down the road.

HALT!!

If you're trying to drown me with the YOU-DON'T-KNOW-NO-FASHION crap.

Then I must admit

I REALLY DON'T KNOW NUTS BOUT YOUR FASHION AND THANK YOU

BUT

DO LEAVE ME OUT OF YOUR HIDEOUS FASHION STATEMENT.

PLEASE. I BEG YOU.

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DRESS LIKE A HUMAN THE NEXT TIME YOU LEAVE YOUR HOUSE.

Need some tips?

First step. Think like one.

NEXT .
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DO ENLIGHTEN ME.

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WHY DO SOME PEOPLE LOOK INCORRIGIBLY UGLY IN HIGH WAIST BOTTOM

BUT INSIST ON WEARING THEM?

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You've got a problem with your neck?

If not, why won't you FACE UP to the reality.

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Look, Stare or Ogle!

Do whatever you want.

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This is

GORGEOUS HOT CHIO CANTEK

high waist.

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HOWEVER

UNFORTUNATELY

MANY FASHIONISTA-WANNABE FOOLS

LOOK LIKE THAT

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Face It You Virgina Faces.
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Nice.
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Like It ?
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LOVE IT.

Jerks

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This Is What I Think Now

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Guys are dirt cheap and possess the ability to produce all sorts of shit.
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" You name it, They've got it. "


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In short, they are belong to the moronic group of beings in the society.


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i know this is steorotype.
But do i look as if i care?


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Listen up Dickheads. The fact is...


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Not all guys are jerks.

But all jerks are guys.

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So Take It , Live It , Love It.

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Fuck

Fuck

is an amazing word.

Vulgarities have become so common now. I believe most people know them but it's up to the to use it or blow it.

Like it or anot, we've been infested with the culture of vulgarity unknowingly.

Take this brand for instance :

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Established brand isn't it. It could be found many malls and its sign hangs tall and proud.

Yes, it caused fierce controversy at first, with all the lawsuits and blah blah yada yada.

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Those fcuk people just insisted that it was an acronym for "French Connection United Kingdom".

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PIAK! It slaps tape to everyone's mouth and all they could do is to shut up and accept it.

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But come on, we all know what this brand is driving at with all the "too busy to fcuk", "fcuk off" and "what the fcuk" t-shirts.

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Another fucking amazing thing with Fuck is..

IT'S NEVER ENOUGH !!

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#1 I hate the way you fucked your Boss yesterday.

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#2 I fucking hate the way you fucked your Boss yesterday

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#3 I fucking hate the way you fucked your fucking Boss yesterday

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#4 I fucking hate the fucking way you fucked your fucking Boss yesterday

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#5 I fucking hate the fucking way you fucked your fucking fucked up Boss yesterday.

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Fuck

has also became

a special type of expression .

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#1 What The Fuck ?

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#2 Fuck Off !

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#3 Fuck You !

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#4 You Fuck Face !

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#5 I don't give a Fuck about it.

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#6 He's such a motherFucker !

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Cursing and Swearing have taken on a whole new meaning in life.

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Sometimes, it helps you to express an extreme emotion which allows you to feel much better.

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When you said "Fuck you ! " to someone, you wouldn't mean to start stripping and bedding the person. In many cases you just want to be able express your extreme anger/irritation into words.

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I've been deemed a vulgar person for my whole life.

Be it by my family, friends, non-friends or

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FUCKED UP BLOG READERS WHOM

I'VE JUST MURDERED THEIR MOTHERS

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It's time to stand up for the

Vulgarity Culture.

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Tag "i love fcuk" at the tagboard to show support.

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LET'S FUCK

CIVILISATION !

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Patience please

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According to my observation for all of my 17 years, I've realised that driving drives people insane.

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Soft-spoken ones turn into Rabies infected crazy dogs.

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Hot-tempered ones turn into WILD SCARY MUTANTS from the mad scientist lab.

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I would say my mom WAS a gentle and demure lady. However, ever since she started driving again 6 months ago (well. she stop driving for 8 years)...

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OH MY

GUAN YIN MA !!

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It became an utter TORMENT to sit in her car.

She'll go

"TA MA DE! How can like that cut people's lane one!"

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Then if there's someone who jaywalk, she'll start ranting again,

"OI STUPID AUNTIE ! YOU WANT DIE IS IT!"

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Wait a minute.. You haven't heard the worst.

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Proudly Presenting....

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MY DAD.

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My dad is like forever getting into fights on the road. I meant FIGHTS literally.

Okay, he wasn't so much of a peace-lover to begin with.. That explains the mutation of human behavior after 20 years of driving.

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He gets carried off even more easily after he changed to his Audi. Everyday on the road must speed speed here speed speed there.

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There was once this motorist honked at my dad for no reason. So in return. my dad honked back at the moron. Of course that moronic man wasn't happy and gave chase.

What did daddy do? He sped off at this super scary speed, not forgetting to flaunt his middle finger..

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And dad still went " Ha! Toyota how to fight with my Audi ! "

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Okay okay.

CHILDISH i know. Luckily I didn't inherit his shortcoming. * dang *

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In conclusion.

Driving is a test of patience.

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What A Turn Off !

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I don't understand why would there be existence of judgemental airheads around.

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Well.

I don't even judge you for being a judgemental dick face,

who are you to judge me then?

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Am i standing in your path to achieve

multiple screaming orgasms ?

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Or have i accidentally ate the key to your

chastity belt ?

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*Burrrrp~*

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On top of judgemental, is hypocrisy another beautiful virtue

passed on by your ancestors?

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Let me help you trace your ancestry,

since you're so FAKE..

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Did your ancestors originate from.. let me see.. the wax museum?

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OH GOD!

How could you allow such a MAJOR defect to be sent to the mortal world.

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oh well, since you've also sent down

Hitler, Osama and Nana..

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What difference would one more make anyway right ?

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I KNOW ! I KNOW ! That's the reason why you've sent me down!

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There must be someone who's more than perfect to

NEUTRALISE their faults isn't it !

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I truthfully sincerely hope oneday,

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SHIT CASCADES OUT OF

YOUR SHOWER HEAD !

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