I am proven to be smart.

.
.

I went out in the evening to meet Eddie .

.

Oh my guan yin ma.

It's been like 3 years since we like last met.

.

So we both had a red scarf tied around our necks for identification.

.

Ya right.

You didn't think I was serious, did you.

It was a yellow scarf actually.

And I swear I checked for 5 billion times that

I'm wearing the correct pair of shoes

before stepping out.

Went to have dinner at Pastamania. I swear i was god damn famished.

But the food is such a bloody big turn off.

But it was still an enjoyable meet up.

Didn't really sense much distinct awkwardness. That's my point of view.

Maybe he's like bloody uneasy. HAHA.

Watched The Unborn. I swear ang moh horror movies are still as sucky.

It doesn't scare the shit out of people,

It just gives you random shocks using

the typical hollywood style blasting sound effects.

Come on ang moh people.

My naked nana can squeeze more shit out of me.

I hereby pay my tribute to Eddie.

(He's not gonna like this AT ALL I swear.)

Dear Eddie Tang.

Beat me in constructing the building next time
and you won't suffer so much next time.

Pick on someone your own size.

Or rather.

Your intellect.

BYE.

I am still ME

Here's the intellectual side of me.
.

.

I like to sit by the window,

look up at the sky and

think deeply...

Okay. Not quite.

I've decided to revert back to the not-so-intellectual side of me

before my intellectualism attracts too many admirers.

This is the

in-another-words-STUPID

thing I did today.

I wore mismatched shoes out for the whole damn morning.

Yes. I do find it ridiculous too.

But no, I don't really feel the shame.

We often allow ourselves to be evaluated by others.

If we could forgo the values, we could overcome the ego.

Okay.

Maybe I'm just plain thick skin.

.

.

.
.
.
Today, Mom told me things that I shouldn't have known as a daughter.

I pretended that I didn't care. I acted as if it's none of my business.

Actually, I knew about such things long ago,
But I really didn't want to hear them from your mouth mom.

I felt deeply disturbed. I felt disgusted, disappointed and ... I don't know. Sad?


In a few weeks time it will be my birthday.
Since young, out of my three birthday wishes,
One of them would always be to find my true love, get married and live happily ever after.


As I grow up, I realised that such perfect scenarios are just mirage in life.
It doesn't exist.

.
.
.

Life's a Comedy

.
.
Words are amazing forms of art.

Here's a message from George Carlin.

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints.
.
.
We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less.
.
.
We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time.


We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.
.
.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
.
.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
.
.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life.

We've added years to life not life to years.
.
.
We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbour.

We've conquered outer space but not inner space.
.
.
We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.

We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice.
.
.
We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less.
We've learned to rush, but not to wait.
.

We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.
.
.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships.
.
These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes.
.
These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill.
.


It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom.
A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.
.
.
Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.
Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.
.
Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.
.
.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,

but by the moments that take our breath away.

This is so not me.

.
.
.
A drop of my foamy toothpaste dripped on to my tee while brushing.
.
The usual awkward position it always land.
But his usual weird laughter was not heard .
.
.
I felt nostalgic.. At the same time, an indescribable sense of strangeness.
.
.
Reminiscence is paralytic.
.
It makes one feel helpless. Helplessly helpless.
.
.
Being unable to navigate the direction of changes is frustrating.
.

Why must things always have changes.

Why is change the only constant.

.
.
People changes, be it drastic or minor. Face this inevitability.
We are not free to choose. It's the only choice, like it or not.

.

"I have not changed a bit. I am still me. "
.
.

Many are oblivious to changes taking place in them.

Many think that " Come on. HOW MUCH CAN I CHANGE? "

.

You don't know. But I know. It's too scary to watch and too cruel to tell.

.

.
Looking on the brighter side.

Give yourself a consoling pat on the shoulder.

.

.

No matter how the world changes.
The past will never change.
Good times in our memories will always be good times.
.
Bad memories are to be let go of. Now we do have a choice here.
.

.
The present possessions that are held so firmly in our clenched fists,
.
Will oneday slip away too,
Becoming a tiny part of your huge jig-saw puzzle of memories.
.
Learn to treasure.
Take a close look at the people around you ,
People you now think that they will be with you forever.
.
.
They may not be there anymore the next time you read another post reminding you to do so.
.
.
.
.
The darkest hour is just before dawn.
I know that. But. So what.
.
.

It seems to be at infinity for now.

.
.
.
.

Dilemma

.
.
.
I really like it when..
.
.
.

Wait a minute. No I don't.
.
.
.

I hate it.
.
.
.
.

Anyway, that stupid bangla threw the morning papers against my door 3 seconds ago.

.

.

Gave me a shock.

Asshole.

.

.

.

.

Think BIG.

.
.
.
i think i will drag myself out
and get a job.
.
.

I think I'll do that real soon.
Perhaps tomorrow..
.
.
.

Oh...

Isn't it fun to think about things

that will never happen in life.

.

.

.

.

I love What I hate.

..

I love everything I have.

.

I love my friends.
I love my family.
I love my house.
.
.
I love my messy room.
I love my clothes-filled bed.

I love my fucked up school.

I love the way SP threaten me about my attendance.
I love playing word challenge.
.
.
I love picking on Nana.
I love watching TV serials on my laptop
and purposely tilt my screen away when Nana wants to watch it.

..
I love my blog.

I love bitching about sluts like you.
I love critising short and fat people.
I love to rant about little things in life.
.
.
I love being fair, fairer and fairest.
I love to carry an umbrella wherever I go.
I love to splat sunblock all over me.
I love to imagine how the sun can melt me.
.
.
.

I hate the way I get easily satisfied.

Damn.

.

..

Fetish with mee siam.

.
.
.
You are always my priority.
.
And I must let you know that you're always in my heart.
.
You make me crave for you all day.
.
I can never get enough of you.
.
I long to see you every morning.
.
And I hope you can be with me in the noon and night too.
.
You make me wanna devour you like a beast.
.

I love you,

Mee siam.

.

.

.

I promised not to fall in love with

mee soto or lontong.

I'll just love you with all my heart.

.

.

.

.

However, can you promise

Not to drip on my white colour clothes,

Or splat on my face when you're with me.

.

.

I shall forgive what you did to me today.

But please stop it.

It turns me off.

.

.

.

.

.
.
My handphone has gone cranky.
.
.
.
Early in the morning, it " Tee-Tee, Tee-TEE " for god damn 9 consecutive times..
.
.
.
9 messages flood in. And all of them were from yesterday night.
.
.
.
What The Fuck. If someone sms-ed me for help,

The person would have be dead, skinned and discarded
by the time the messages reach me.
.
.
Actually it happened a couple of times already.
.
Not someone being killed. But messages are unable to reach me.
.
.
.
And most of the time I'm thinking
" This person is god damn fucked up. Why doesn't this mofo reply my message.. "
.
And of course, I believe it's vice versa.
I'll get cursed by people too. DAMN.
.
.
Now I see..
The problem lies with me.
.
It makes me feel as if I'm living in a glass jar.
.
.

Fuck you, phone.

Fuck you.

.
.
.
.

Discomfort

.
.
.
I am throwing up for
the second time

and having

numerous runs.

.

.

What on Earth

have I eaten.

.

.

Or did someone cast a

voodoo spell on me.

.

.

.

Help.

..

.
.

.
Elaine has phobia for rodents..
.
.
I can't keep hamsters.
.
.

Damn that mofo.

.
.
.
.

Pubic Disaster

.

.

.

My hair feels like public hair,

Looks like pubic hair,

.

Sometimes I'm convinced that

It IS pubic hair.

.

.

I'm having pubic-hair hair.

.

Should I just snip off my pubic-hair hair or should I not?

.

.

It's disastrous. Totally.

.

Thanks to all the dyeing, perming and thinning,

Now I have pubic-hair hair hanging on my head.

.

.

.

I get to flaunt pubic hair while you can't.

I do understand your level of jealousy.

.

.

Fart Girl

.
.
.
I'm like stinky fart.
.
.
Everybody is aware of my presence.
.
.

But none admits my existence.

.
.
.

I'm a fart girl.

.
.
.

Pest Infest.

.
.

I've been pestering people around me for company,

Ranging from real to virtual to imaginary.

.
What a pest. *spray pesticide all over myself*

.

But I fear being alone.

Many say I should learn.

.
.
I'm always seeking for attention and companionship.
Only when there are people around me,

then I'll truly feel my presence and existence.

.
.
I know I'm acting like a big time loser.
.

I know everyone has their own life.

I know I should have mine too.

.
.

I should stop being a life-size roach.

.

.

I promise not to pester you people anymore.

At least at lower frequency.

.

.

.

.

LOST

.
.
.
I'm feeling really lost right now.
.
.
.

I don't know what steps to take next

And I don't have anyone to guide me.

.

.

.

.

I've screwed up my life.

.

Dad's gonna kill me.

.

.

.

.

Go to DMC !

.

I watched DMC. . .
.

I FINALLY WATCHED

DMC!!!!

.

Kenichi Matsuyama is super cute! oh my guan yin ma!
.
.
And the best thing is... IT'S FREE! I've got movie vouchers!

.

Three cheers to guan yin ma!

And of course.. Not forgetting to thank Daddy..

And the biggest winner is zL..

.

He's a big time sponger and dreams to be with my rich cousin.

.

He watched a free movie and free cab ride back.
.

.

.

.
He's uber uber uber funny.. And I uber uber love him..
.
but the only thing that spoilt my day is that
.
.

my GOD DAMN starbucks coffee bottle cap got stucked and

LAGI BEST

the only person beside me is zL...

*you do get my point, don't you. *

It's a DIE DIE MUST WATCH MOVIE!

.

Cause.. he's cute.

.

.
See See SEEEEEEEEE~
.

I told you he's super cute right..

Now your heart is melting too, isn't it???

.

.

What are you waiting for huh?!
.
.
.

NOW STOP READING MY GOD DAMN BLOG

AND GO CATCH IT!!

.
.
.
It's another day alone at home.
I haven't stepped out of my house for almost 3 centuries.
.
.
I should seriously consider donating my money away.
.
There's no hourly charge for staying at home anyway.
.
.
I wake up each day, discovering more and more cobwebs on me.
.
.
I feel so sick of me.
.
.
How I wish I'd break my pinky or thumb or whatever.
.
Then I would have no choice but to drag my ass out and get it fixed.
.
Now. I am not in the slightest motivated to wriggle out to get some fresh air.
.
.

This is so pathetic, Grace.

.

So so pathetic.

.
.

Get a life.

Buttcrack

.
.
Cover the face.
.
.
.

Fuck the base.

.
.
.
.
Why not. Guys are guys afterall.
.
.
.
.

SOMEBODY SAVE ME!

.
.
.
.
no dinner tonight...
.
.
.

I AM STARVING!!!

.

.

PUSH your mother off the cliff

.

.

.

.
Went to watch Push yesterday. Now do allow me to share it with you.
.
.
This movie is basically about some super people with super powers. Very typical hollywood style. I seriously find the movie quite inane.
.
.
Okay. But the one thing I find weird about the movie is the absence of subtitles.
.
Well. It's rather uncommon to find movies in S'pore without subtitles.

Perhaps it reflects how unpopular it is.
.

.

Super People #1

.

She's the Pusher.

.

She buys lousy quality and sub-standard contact lens which doesn't stay in place and vibrates about.

.

.

Alright alright. She hypnotises people.
.

.

.

.
Super People #2
.
She's a watcher.
She can see the future.
She keeps drawing ugly pictures throughout the movie.
.
But in my opinion, she should be called..... the DRAWER..
.
.
.
Super People #3
.
They are the... fuckers.
.
HAHAHAHAHAHA. They've got retarded fuck face.
.
okay. I really can't recall the name.
.
.
.

Now. I have to say.

.

I really hate the way they add an "-er" to every word

making it sound goddamn awkward.

.

.

Pusher, mover, watcher, mother, fucker or whatever .

.

IT'S JUST SO

FUCKING WEIRD!

.

.

Push push push.

.

Push your god damn mother off the cliff .

.

.

.

Sad .

.
.

Daddy, Mommy and Nana are off to malaysia.

.
.
.
In a few days time, xin will be off to Korea.
.
.
.

Now I am all alone . Nibbling on my Tim-Tam.

.

.

.

It's almost dinner time.

Someone please ask me out for dinner !!

I want what I want

.
.
.
I wanna go to the Zoo.
.
.

I wanna go to Sentosa.

.

.

I wanna go Farmart.

.

.

I wanna go prawning.

.

.

.

.

Mocca Mocca

.

.

.

For my Daddy!

.

For my Mommy!

.

For my Doggie and Me!

.

.

.

.

Stupid Mocca Ad.

Now the stupid jingle is stucked in my brain.

.

.

.

.

BYE.

.

.

.

Kungfu Baby

.

.

I seldom watch youtube videos.

.

But this is really too captivating.

.

.

.

.

The Missing E

.
I've been cooping up at home for nearly a week. The only place I can go is the hospital.
.

GOD

SAVE ME FROM MY MUNDANE LIFE!

.

.
Na na drew me a birthday cum Get-well card/A4 paper.
But Nana, it's really kinda early.
.

Well, it's the thoughts that counts anyway.

.

.

Very ugly but still adorable in it's own way..

I did told her to... DRAW MY EYES CHIO CHIO.

.

.

By the way. I spotted a spelling error.

.

.

Grace : " Oei nana. Your doRAmon spell wrongly."

.

Nana : " HUH. Really meh. Where. *stil give me that UNBELIEVABLE LOOK* "

.

Grace : " Nehh. *point point* Your E missing. "

.

Nana : " Orh.. Okay okay.. "

.

WALAO! AND SHE GAVE ME THIS!

AN IMPROPORTIONATE "E"

.

I was thinking that she will re-do the card or whatever.
.

.

Feel like having her

hung, drawn and quartered

.

.

.

BYE.

.

.

.

I take vitamins E-vil

.

.

It's kinda spine-tingling to have someone pointing his/her finger into your face,

between your brows, right on your freshly popped zit.

.

.

I know I am known for blogging without the use of my microscopic brain.

.

Yes, I do love to blurt out all kinds of shits without thinking

(ranging from ice-cream-like faeces to chocolate-fudge-like poops)

.

I adore ranting. I enjoy inflicting followed by digging at one's wound.

.

I indulge in cursing and swearing at whoever that crosses my path.

.

.

.

My dominant gene screams FIEND, and I am a borned engineer

who builds my happiness at the expense of one's pain.

.

.

When I was taught to write the word "LIVED" ,

I wrote it backwards instead.

"DEVIL"

.

.

I shower in pure evil each day. I devour tiny demons with milk for breakfast and swallow pills of Vitamin E-vil.

.

.

I craddle in the arms of destruction,

While cries of children lullaby me to sleep.

.

.

You see me as shrewd, while I take it as a compliment

And expresses my gratitude by bowing

followed by a stab in your guts

.

.

.

Now you know who or what I am.

Stop being a moaning minnie.

.

You can always choose to steer away

from my path to free the satan in me .

.

But don't judge me.

.

It only shows that you don't know me.

.

.

.

.

And if that's the case, who are you to judge me then.

.

.

.

.

.

BYE.

.

.

.

.