DANG DONG DING

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Sometimes, when some girls take pictures with their eyes staring up and tongues sticking out. . .

They look like

they're gonna

throw up.

.

FAIL.

*Dang*

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Embrace Ali Baba

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.

TAA-DAA.

.

IT'S CONFIRMED.

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.

2009 Christmas in India.

.

.

Here I come, Incredible Indiaaa.

.

.

Can play bayi simi sek

till I go bonkers!

..

.

Can sing Christmas

carols in TAMIL.

.

OH! I really wanna see those bayi people wear their Santa hat over their turban.

.

What a sight!

..

.

What's BEST?!

.

Cow dungs!

.

NO.

.

Count downs!

.

.

We can start

counting down from

ten at the last

20th second.

.

Tamil is a lil more draggy, you know.

.

.

OHBOY. This is

SUPERSONIC-ULTRASONIC-COOL-

TO-DA-MAX-I-SWEAR-TO-GUAN-YIN-MA

.

..

.PS: Gaja said I'll look like a

snowflake sticking out

from a lump of charcoal.

What a dream come true.

To be the fairest of them all.

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Dumb Numb

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Everybody thinks I'm joking about going to India.

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I'm dead serious.

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Angst Pangs

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ARGHHH!

My mommy is so dummy.

She bought me this low quality foolscap paper which is so

TRANSLUCENT

I could clearly trace out whatever is placed underneath.

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.

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CAN'T STAND SUB-STANDARD FOOLSCAP.

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.

YIKES!!

..

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She even bought lots of them and they aren't cheap!

.

Stupid stationery shop people must have ripped my ignorant mommy off again.

.

.

.

But she bought this very handy correction tape for me.

So I still love her.

..

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Precision Decision

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.
.

Dear Readers,

TELL ME.

Should I spend my Christmas
in India or Singapore?

I JUST CAN'T MAKE UP MY MIND.

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Beam dream

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Yesterday, I dreamt that I jumped off the building.
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Bless me, Guan yin ma.
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Brain Freeze

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Dear McDonald's people,

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STOP BLASTING YOUR BLOODY AIR CON!!

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IT'S FUCKING COLD YOU KNOW!

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BRUISE BRUCE LEE

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Anyway, that day I forgot and accidentally ate at the MRT station.


Luckily those darned MRT people didn't caught me.


I'm such a lucky ducky.
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Some may get irritated when I say MRT people, cinema people, KFC people, or police people.
.
.
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BUT I JUST LIKE IT.
Shut up or I'll shoot boogie at you.
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Best Test

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Dear Yakult People:

.

You should seriously give extra straws

in case stupid people drop their straws

and take a second straw,

leaving the last

Yakult

with no straw!!

.

.

.

Drinking my beloved PURPLE Yakult WITHOUT a straw

.

is just like drinking chicken soup WITH a straw...

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NO FEEL LAH !!

.

.

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There goes my happy childhood.

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.
.

Ingredients for

my miserable school life:

.

.

-1 teaspoon of boring lectures

.

-1/2 a cup of evil lecturers who mark late as absent

.

-3 ounces of killer spot quizzes

.

-A pinch of stress from repeated module

.

-4 tablespoons of never-ending reports and assignments

.

-2.5 teaspoons of traumatic test failures

.

-1ml of too-many-ugly-nerds

.

-A slosh of class politics

.

-4ml of miserable squeezing in MRTs during peak hours

.

-0.5kg of "i-need-miracle-to-pass" kind of exams

..

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.

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I swear it's true

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.
.
.

The more I study,

the more I'm convinced

that I'm stupid.

Might as well stop studying.

And continue thinking I'm clever.
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Gather your gathers

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.
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Sometimes

I really wonder how it feels to be a guy...


Like..you know..



Standing, aiming and peeing at the same time.
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I'm home.

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.
.
.
Hello. I am back.


I don't like it when everyone thinks I am weird.


Cause it makes me feel lonely.

It's like the whole world sees it,

And I'm the only one who can't.

Grrrrrr.....
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Cyber me =/= Real me

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.
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.


I'm giving up on blogging for now.


Buh-Bye.
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Armpits are indescribable.

.
.
.
I just did the most awkward and ugly jump ever in my life.


I got a shock by the toaster when it pops the bread out.

KILL ME

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.
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.

I want nobody, nobody but you

.

.

Nobody is my friend.

And I am nobody's friend.

.

.

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I heard that you're a nobody.

Wanna be my friend?

.

.

P.S: Nobody likes to hang out with me, you know.

.

.

.

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Who could it be?

.
.
.
Once upon a time,

There lived a girl who loves to blog.

She didn't save her report and it was gone.

Then, she went crying for help early in the morning.

One day, she died of an incurable stage of extreme stupidity.



The End.
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Emo Eskimo.

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.
I don't like it.



I behaved like an idiot today.
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Cheap Chip

.

.

.

How did those darn little ah lians find their way to Facebook?!?!

.

.

What "Hongster Never Die"...

What kind of cheap shit is that ..

.

*Gagged*

.

.

The next thing you know, they'll be asking people to RSVP to join their little Bugis gang.

.

"Bugis Never Die"

.

SO COOL HUH.

.

.

.

Ouch..

.

.

.

Can someone

please please please

buy me some Eno?

I can't take it anymore.

Help...

By the way, the donuts are 12 for a dollar.

There's no reason for me to not buy 24!

It's dirt cheap you know!
.
.
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Donut Suck Balls

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.

Thanks to the 24 donut balls.

.

.

I'm having indigestion now.

Ah yi just rubbed some medicated oil on my belly.

.
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.

Mighty Me

.
.
I ate 24 donut balls

in 2 hours.


I know I know.

*Bow Bow*

Thank you, thank you.

*Wave wave*
.
.
.

I live in my own world.

.
.

Instead of studying..

I was. . .

.

TYING MY HAIR INTO A BOW!

TAA-DAAAA!!

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.

Bye bye.

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PAST, PRESENT, FUTURE

.
.
.

What if my ex says...

What would I answer in return.

.
Although I don't have that many ex...
Pathetic. I know.
.
.
I saw this on Facebook.
It's kinda interesting to know your own replies.
Go do it too!!
.
.

1. What if my ex says "Why did you let me go?"
- Cause you made holding on difficult.

2. What if my ex says "I still love you..."
- Oki doki, Got it.
However, actions speaks louder than words, dude.

3. What if my ex says "When did we last talk?"
- I'm still on talking terms with all of them.

4. What if my ex says "Will you go out with me?"
- Why not? I've met up with all of them this year.

5. What if my ex says "Do you still love me?"
- No comments.

6. What if my ex says "I cannot keep my promises to you"
- Then don't promise me anything.
Being a jerk is better than being one who breaks promises.

7. What if my ex says "My friends say we don't look good together"
- Oh yeah? You guys look great together! Just like a circus troupe.

8. What if my ex says "You have changed!"
- Yep. I change everyday.
My top, bottom, bra, underwear. You name it, I got it.

9. What if my ex says "Can we get back together?"
- Prove to me you're different now.

10. What if my ex says "Oh, I know what this is all about. You found someone else"
- Nope. I would never. You were once everything to me.

11. What if my ex says "Don't you realize? You are the one who hurt me!"
- How do you know it's not the other way round.

12. What if my ex says "How can you forget our memories?"
- I didn't. I remembered them, not forgetting the unhappy ones as well.

13. What if my ex says "I will always love you"
- Hmm, you said we'll be together forever as well. But look..

14. What if my ex says "Would you die for our love?"
- No. If I die, you may go running to another girl the next day.
Guys are guys afterall.

15. What if my ex says "You jump, I jump...Remember?"
- Nope, I don't. That's so corny! HAHA.

16. What if my ex says "Kiss me to break the curse if I sleep for a hundred years"
- No! You will live to a hundred years old if I don't wake you!
If I wake you, you may die the next day. God knows!

17. What if my ex says "What's the difference between you and me?"
- I'm an attention seeker, you're an attention keeper.

18. What if my ex says "I saw you last night with your boyfriend"
- What do you think? Nice catch huh?

19. What if my ex says "Without me, your life wouldn't be complete"
- HUH. So buay pai seh? Ok, tell you what.
Life doesn't only revolves around love, you know.

20. What if my ex says "Why are you doing this to me!"
- I lived in the shadow of your past, isn't that bad enough for me?
.
.
.

Dumb Mum.

.

.

.

You'll never guess what I'm doing right now.

It's 5.30am, and I'm still awake watching...

.

.

意难忘!!!

.

.

Yes,

I do think I'm crazy.

.

.

.

Aiyo!

SO EMBARRASSING~!

.

.

.

Majulah Singapore lah.

.
.
.

I spent my National Day

at McDonalds

What about you?
.
.

Check out my

Pretend-to-be-a-Singapore-Flag-Though-I'm-not-even-Singaporean

Tshirt.

.

.

B Y E B Y E

.

.

.

I can see my beautiful blog again

.

.

Tell Jesus.

The Bitch Is Back.

.

.

.

Can you be mine forever?

.

.

It's a Xin and ME Day!

.

.

.

.

.

We went shopping.

.

.

End.

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Bitter Betrayal

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.
.
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH GOOGLE!

IT'S SAYING SORRY TO ME FOR NOT LETTING ME ACCESS MY DAMN BLOG!

WHY?!

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME!

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME, GOOGLE?!?!

I LOVED YOU SO MUCH!

I USED YOU AS MY SEARCH ENGINE FOR MY REPORT

WHYYYYYY??!!!

TELL ME!!

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Ommm...

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.
Dear Guan Yin Ma,
can you send me a Study Buddha.
.
.
.

Fiddle your fiddler

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.
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Pssss.

Psss psssss!

Come nearer to your screen,

I've got a secret to tell you..
.
.
.

I WENT TO WATCH UP!!!

WOOHOOOOO!

.

.

.

I'm happy as can be.

.

.

.

Thanks zL!

*Give you a sweet pink*

Bad boy, Jk, bad boy !

*Give you a sai colour*

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.

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Self Reminder RTW

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.
Reminder to self:

Buy foolscap paper.

.

.

.

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I know I know.

I just keep forgetting..

Argh!!

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.

.

.

Germs Gems

I'm an Official Tetris Addict.

Each time I give myself a break from all the revision,

I'll race to facebook, click on my Tetris bookmark and start playing like a fanatic.

You can call me an Ota.

Talking bout Otah.. I'm hungry..
.
.
.
.

Maple Sauce On Pancakes.

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.
My face is so oily,

You can get a crispy pancake,

If you press it against a frying pan.
.
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.
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Cheeky Dickie

.
.
.
I'm going to study like an erected dick. Real hard.

.
.


I know this had already been on my Facebook and Twitter.
(I meant the statement, nobody likes my photo..)

I don't know why it's so well-liked by many.

So I decided to share it here.
.
.
.
.

Books are Crooks

.

.

Look...

Told ya I was really studious.

I've got my backpack on

and all ready to go study.

.

.

Dear Guan Yin Ma..

Send me a Study Buddy!!

.

.

Sai Gone Saigon..

.
.
.
I'm going to tell you something...

And I'm very very angry about it.


Today, I pangsai-ed in school cause I ate too much prunes.

All my tonic toxic toxin, you name it, I've got it.

So there I was, happily sitting and shitting,

I don't even care if I was going to be late for class.

Suddenly, some bitch came in and say my shit smells.

WTFuck.

My shit is not stinky okay.. Average what..

What's more each time I pang out my sai,

I'll flush it okay.

So the whole process,

I'll be like shit, flush, shit shit, flush.

Rhythmic, isn't it...

So I think it's the nose shit piled up in her motherfucking snout that stinks the hell out of her.

EEEEE! SO ANGRY!!!

CCB.

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.

Sturdy Butty

.
.
.
I'm going to start on

all my revisions.

So I'll need a Study Buddy.

Who wants to be my Study Buddy!

Do you wanna be my Study Buddy?

We're not like any other buddies, y'know.

We're the Study Buddies!

So would anyone like to be my Study Buddy?

It's gonna be fun to Buddy and Study together, y'know?

Studying is never more fun when you have a Study Buddy!

If your buddy is not studying,

You can shout out loud,

"Hey Buddy, Study!"

Oh.. Tell me. What can be more fun than that...

.
.

Artsy Fartsy

.
.
.
I think

Farts have sounds cause

our butt cheeks slap

against each other.

What do you think?

.

.

.

.

SOS: Feng Shui Master

.
.
.
I've been sleeping on the sofa for almost a month.

And I've never missed a single lesson.

Each time I move back to my room,

With all the air-con, comfy bed, warm cosy blanket...

I'll slip into coma and miss lessons.

I swear it's true.

Fuck. This sucks.

Now I'm lying on the sofa,

Not knowing what to do.

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.
.

Loath or Love.

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.
Reminder to self:

Buy foolscap paper.

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.
.

Birds tweet, you twit.

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.
.
I've done zwitter.

But now.

I'm on twitter.

I know.

I'm a twit. Gagged.
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Yo Mama versus Ma Mommy..

.
.
I hide under my mom's slacks.



You hide under your mom's flabs.
.
.
.

It's the mozzie not the hair!!

.
.
.
I have a mozzie bite under my left arm.

Whenever I scratch it,

It looks like I'm scratching my armpit.


Help...
.
.
.
.

Think out of the BOX.

.
.
.
It's time for some boxing session!

K-boxing.
.
.
.
.

Shut your gap.

.
.
.
Alright.

Slot's taken up!

I already have a date to watch Up.


But don't be disheartened.

I wanna watch the The Last House On The Left too.

Who's in huh?!

WHO?
.
.
.
.

Up, Up and Away.

.

.

.

I'm so gonna watch Up.

.

.

Who's in?

.

.

.

Empty Meaningless Life

.











.

Screw my life. Fuck my soul.

.

.

.

Can someone please

gently

SCREAM THE HELL AT ME

and

ASK ME TO GET MY MOTHERFUCKING ASS

BACK TO THE STUDY TABLE

and

START MY BLOODY REVISION?!

.

.Thanks lovelies! (>.^)Y

XOXO.

Muackies.

*YIKES*

*GAG*

*PUKE*

.

My Ugliest Bf. Cursed.

.
.
I'm studying for tomorrow's test now.

I just can't stop dozing off.

Gotta go take a shower to keep myself awake.

Damn.

How I wish

I could just

sleep my way up

to graduation.

HAHA.


Give me some humor here, will ya.
.
.

Seriousness is

kinda

prohibited here

for the moment.

.

.

.

.

.

Cunt Can't... MUAHAHA!!!!!!!

.

.

.

If I can,

I'll kill everyone on Earth.

In this way,

I won't feel alone.

Cause I am alone.

.

.

.

.

It seems like

my blog's mutating

into some emo elmo

duck dark blog.

Well, might as well

start a suicidal cult then.

Rawr..

.

.

.

NO YOU DON'T !

.
.
No one understands me.

Not even me.

No one cares about me.

Not even me.

No one thinks of me.

Not even me.

No one loves me.

Not even me.

Okay.

Got some menses cramp over here.

Gotta go punch my belly.

Bye bye.

.

.

.