Sisterhood.

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I am suffering badly from post-Valentine's aftermath.

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So I decided to make myself happier...

AT THE EXPENSE OF OTHERS.

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This is Ru Hua..

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Some Really Classic Taiwanese comedian..

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If you don't know who is she.

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You must either be borned on yesterday and is viewing my blog now.

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Or borned today and is going to view my blog later.

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Okay. Before all the "SHE'S GOD DAMN UGLY" starts..

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I must acknowledge her courage.

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I wouldn't do that even if you offer me 3 lorries of hunks.

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* make it 4 and I'll give it a thought.*

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I don't care if you feel that you can never get enough of her...

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Or is starting to get all nausea..

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Presenting Your Greatest

Fantasy/Nightmare..

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MINI HUA~!

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LIKE IT?

LOVE IT!!!

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HURRY !

Set it as your desktop or mobile wallpaper.

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You may even print it all over your pyjamas!

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HALT !! ... Are you having the URGE to create your own mini- you, me or enemy ??

Or do you feel your COMPULSION screaming

"GO CREATE A GOD DAMN MINI TOO

AND USE IT AS A VOODOO ON YOUR IRRITATING CLASSMATE

WHO KEPT BITCHING ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU SUCK!"

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Log on to http://www.nike.com/nikeos/p/nikewomen/en_SG/training_tool

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To Dearest Sisters...

Ugliness may be something one can be borned with BUT definitely not stucked with..

Ru Hua was paid be to be ugly.. But you aren't so what's the point of remaining ugly !

There's practically NO excuse to do that anymore! YAY!!

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But if you have chose to do NOTHING about it... and stay that way forever..

Just remember this.. You can RUN but you can't HIDE.

So.. Get a pair of good shoes and keep running then..

At least you will be an ugly but skinny person.

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Nike Zoom Sister One+, The ultimate training shoe for women

http://nikewomen.com.sg

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Valentine's Your Head !

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It's Valentine's Day

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DREAD stepping out of my house today. If it wasn't for xin, I would be sitting by the window THROWING EGGS AT THOSE GODDAMN LOVING COUPLES!

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It's okay.. You all are just morons being cheated by commercialism. I guffaw hard at your stupidity.

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GOD SEND ME A BLOODY DATE TOO!!!!!!.

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All in all.. I've spent most of my Valentine's with Na Na and Grandma.

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ISN'T THAT INCORRIGIBLY ROMANTIC??!! LOVE IT!! ^^ *ya right*

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Now leave me alone...and let me die of loneliness .

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Was it me or everyone?

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Each time I try to convince people that it is possible to smell your own nose.

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The whole universe laughs at me.

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In return, they try to convince me it's the nose shit that I smell.

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Each time I try to convince people that zebra is a black horse with white stripes.

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The whole universe tries to tell me they are white horses with black stripes.

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Each time I have doubts for different religions and practices.

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People insists that I am prejudiced.

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No. You blindly follow.

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While I am not fervent.

I stay conscious enough to point out.

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The whole world's against me.

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Or

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Was it me against the whole world.

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BYE.

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WHAT THE FUCK.

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FINALLY ALL THE REPORTS AND PROJECTS ARE CLEARED.

LAST SEMESTER, I DIDN'T KILL SOMEONE TO SACRIFICE TO THE GOD.

HENCE, GOD PUNISHED ME BY SENDING DHINEESH TO MY GROUP.

I MUST SAY THAT HE'S IS ONE MARVELLOUSLY THICK-SKINNED SON OF A BITCH.

AND YES! I DID CAUSED YOU TO FORWARD MODULE INDIRECTLY,

ALL TO GET YOUR FUCKING BLACK HUSKY ASS OUTTA THE CLASS.

ALL I DID WAS TO MAKE IT A HABIT TO PUT

*PS: Please deduct __ marks from Dhineesh as ZERO contribution was made.*

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EVERYTIME ASK YOU WHERE THE FUCK IS THE QUESTIONS FOR THE REPORT

AND YOU WILL GO

"I just broke up with my girlfriend. And now I've got this girl around me. We got make out, and do whatever couples should do..."

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OI YOU BLOODY HAIRY PIECE OF CHARCOAL.

SHUT UP FUCKING BIG MOUTH WITH

YOUR HANDLEBAR MOUSTACHE

HANGING ALL OVER YOUR LIPS

LIKE ALI BA BA.

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HELLO!

DO I LOOK LIKE I GIVE A SLIGHTEST DAMN TO YOU AND YOUR HINDI POOPIE GIRLFRIEND.

I'LL ASK LORD KHRISHNA, VHISNU AND SHIVA TO SUBDUE YOU AND YOUR MATE,

YOU HORNY HINDI HYENAS!

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THIS SEMESTER, I KILLED DHINEESH TO SACRIFICE TO THE GOD.

BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG MISTAKE!!

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AS YOU KNOW. KINDNESS BEGETS KINDNESS.

SO INDIAN BEGETS ANOTHER FUCKING CHEE BYE INDIAN!

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YOU TOTALLY GOT THE WRONG IDEA LORD KHRISHNA, VHISNU AND SHIVA !!

THAT'S NOT WHAT I ASKED FOR.

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THIS TIME I TOTALLY STROKE LOTTERY.

I'VE GOT ANOTHER SON OF A BITCH.

INTRODUCING ORH PER OF THE YEAR, SAKTHIES.

I'M SUPER TOUCHED.

I'VE GOT TWO ORH PER IN A ROW.

WHY NOT SEND ME ANOTHER " BALA, SAMMI OR MUTHU" SO THAT I CAN SQUASH THEM INTO 3 BLACK DOTS AND FORM

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A WINNING LINE IN TIC-TAC-TOE.

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DEAR SAKTHIES, YOU'VE GOT A SPECIAL NAME WHICH

REFLECTS CHASTITY AND PURITY.

" SUCK THIS "
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PERHAPS THESE ARE THE LAST WORDS YOU MOM HEARD BEFORE YOU WERE OFFICIALLY MADE.

SHE WANTS TO REMIND HERSELF HOW GREAT A MISTAKE YOU WERE EVERYTIME SHE CALLS OUT TO YOU.

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BY THE WAY YOU BLACKIE, DON'T BE TOO HAPPY JUST BECAUSE I HAVEN'T POINT OUT WHAT FUCKED UP SHITS YOU POOPED ON ME.

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YOU WERE THE MOST RETARD HUMAN I'VE EVER MET.

WHO ON EARTH IN THE RIGHT MIND WOULD SPRAY PERFUME FROM HEAD TO TOE AND EVEN ON THE SHOES AND THE SOLES.

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WHAT'S MORE. HELLO!! YOU'RE IN THE LAB!

AND HELLO AGAIN!!! WE'RE HAVING PRACTICAL!

HELLO HELLO HELLO????

YOU WANT ME TO GIVE A BIG KNOCK ON YOUR BRAINLESS EMPTY BLACK CONTAINER??!!

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DO I NEED TO REMIND YOU TO LIFT UP EVERY SINGLE STRAND OF YOUR WIRY ARMPIT HAIR AND GLOSS THEM WITH YOUR STOLEN TOILET REFRESHENER PERFUME?

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DID YOU HAVE CURRY POWDER POISONING?!

OR DO YOU THINK YOU ARE SOME BOLLYWOOD HINDI SUPERSTARRRRRRR?

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WAKE UP!

I'LL GIVE YOU ALL MY SAVINGS TO OPEN A MA-MA SHOP IF YOU WANT

BUT PLEASE KINDLY GIVE ME QUALITY IF NOT AT LEAST RELEVANT WORK!!!

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QUALITY WORK IS...

NOT MAKING IT SO OBVIOUS THAT YOU CONVENIENTLY PRINT SCREEN AND 'PIAK' THE WHOLE GODDAMN REPORT ON TO A WORD DOCUMENT.

THE BEST PART IS THAT YOU EVEN INCLUDE THE SUPPLIERS' NUMBER AND HAPPILY THINK NO ONE WOULD REALISE!

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I'M NOT BLIND. I JUST HAVE SMALLERS EYES.

I CAN STILL SEE THE FUCKING

"FOR MORE DETAILS, PLEASE CONTACT OUR SALES STUFF"

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FUCK YOU, YOU GUNDO!!!!

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OEIIIII

YOU WANT ME TO START A PETITION TO REMOVE THE WHITE LINES OF ALL ZEBRA CROSSINGS IN SP??!!!

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SO THAT CHANCES OF YOU BEING KNOCK DOWN WILL BE HIGHER.

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OH GOD.. PUKING ALL MY UNHAPPINESS OUT FEELS GOOD.

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RANTING IS ORGASMIC.

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BYE.

LOOK!

Good Afternoon.

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As you all know, Valentine's Day is coming..
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It's so near that I swear I can see

tiny little heart shapes with fluffy white wings

floating around.

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Wouldn't it be MARVELLOUS to be able to spread the passion and share the love.
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Buying gifts is the greatest way to express your love..
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And buying a Barbie Phone will DEFINITELY be the most ingenious way

to kick someone into the

Holy Fountain of Love!
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PLEASE LET ME SWIM IN THE HOLY FOUNTAIN OF LOVE!

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BUY ME A BARBIE PHONE!!!!!!

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Alright, in case you wanna buy it for your girlfriend instead of me (you bloody ignorant fucker)
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Go get it from http://alohacloset.blogspot.com/
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THIS IS NOT

AN ADVERTORIAL OKAY~

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I'm just totally grateful to the owner for allowing me to get to know the existence of such lovely lovable phone. Though I'm not buying it. But looking at pretty and lovely stuff brightens up my day equally.
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I'm on a strict Save-Alot-Of-Money plan.
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So I am not suppose to break the Cannot-Buy-A-Barbie-Phone-You-Pathetic-BItch rule.
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As you can see..

It's in the shape of a compact powder.

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HOW BLOODY CUTE

CAN IT GET

YOU TELL ME !

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I must admit it is a bimbo phone.

With sub-standard camera and functions.

but.

IT'S CHIO.

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I know I look like some senile breast-sagging granny.
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But can you just take pity on me and buy me a BARBIE PHONE.
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BYE.

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Thanks SP.

GOD
DAMN IT !

I've just received a bloody warning letter from SP.

FUCK!!!

The best part is that my dad's got a copy too.

I FUCK YOU, SCHOOL.

Where are all your SAVE THE TREES principles.

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This was mine~
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This was Daddy's...

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Dear Sir/Madam,

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FAILURE TO MEET ATTENDANCE REQUIREMENT UNDER THE EXAMINATIONS RULES (need to capitalise the alphabets meh? Afraid that my dad doesn't have microscopic eyesight ah?!)

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This is to inform you that........, your attendance in class...did not meet the minimum requirement as set....Sinagapore Polytechnic Examination Rules. (Why won't you send a letter telling my dad how much effort i put in to make myself look hot in school everyday.)

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The Examinations Board has therefore decided....., you will be given only a Pass(P) or Fail(F) grade in the following module....blah Blah YADA YADAAAA.. (Therefore, Miss Hottie Grace has decided to shove my middle finger up your fuck face to express my gratitude and you will be given a chance to Phuck(P) or Fuck (F) 500 dogs in 2 minutes..)

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This is so bloody irritating.

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Oh well. Whatever, School.

It doesn't matter.

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I swear I'll steal 5 toilet rolls everyday from now on till I graduate.

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BYE.

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I Have The Last Say

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Tell me.

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Can you spot the big fat cross on the

top right hand corner of the screen ?

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Everyone has the right to read my blog

and of course leave anytime they like.

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But not everyone has the right to shoot their mouths off.

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No no~ Uh-uhh~

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At least not in

My Blog My Tagboard My Sight.

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Just being curious.

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Does your mom has Gonorrhea??

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I really can't find any other reason

that had caused your blindness.

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You DO know what's Gonorrhea RIGHT ?

or DO YOU NOT ?

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*smiles*

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Don't Worry, You Pathetic Thing.

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That's what happens when

YOUR MOM SLEEPS AROUND.

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So you know why you're nameless huh?

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CAUSE

YOUR MOM DIDN'T KNOW

WHOSE SURNAME

YOU SHOULD TAKE AFTER.

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That's why everyone calls you

'Da Son of a Bitch'

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Now you know why

your mom uses a baseball bat

instead of tampons?

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Hey hey. Don't try to correct me

and tell me your real gender.

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That's like TOTALLY HUMBLE.

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You know I can easy google it out, don't you.

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I mean what's so difficult.

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Afterall, your mom sleeps around.

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There may even be a wikipage.

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WHO KNOWS.

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Alright.

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Now let's end the post

with some lovely and adorable

wonders on Earth.

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She's such a Darling.

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Bye.

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