Saturday, March 27

Everyone hates the Weird kid

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I'm not trying to start a suicidal
(Look.. COLOURS. Totally not suicidal.)
cult here.


But when I was young, I'll try out different ways to commit suicide, well, once in a blue moon.


Actually I just wanna know how a near-death experience feels like.


Once, I tried suffocating myself with a pillow after watching some mediacorp drama.


Cause some rich dying old man was lying in the hospital and suffocated with a pillow by his evil son.

I swear I thought the whole process was supposed last for less than 15 seconds.

In the scene, it was like
*groan*
*kick*
*struggle*
*stiffen*
*dong dong chiang~*


.
.
I did all of the above actions.

After 30 seconds...

I started shoving the
motherfucking pillow outta my face
and pant like a dog.

What can I say.
Fuck you, Mediacorp.

Friday, March 19

Brownieee

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I promise to do my best
To do my duty to God
To serve the country
And help other people
And to keep the Brownie law.
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I was really a Brownie once upon a time.

We really looked like lil singing dog poops skipping around.
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Flow wolF

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Rhetorical questions
are for social outcasts
with no friends.

Is that monk bald?
Is that Pope a catholic?

Sorry. That's not rhetorical.
That's plain retard.

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.
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Rhetorical

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.
.
Hmm..

Should I blog or should I not?
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.

Wednesday, March 17

Lady Fuck vs. Lady Luck.

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I launched a pig at CPTC today.

I'm not kidding.


Damn. You don't believe me, do you!


You must be thinking, "This girl should kick her drinking habit."


I'M NOT DRUNK.
I REALLY LAUNCHED PIGS TODAY.



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.
.
.

Bahaha.


.
.


The unglam stuff I do at home.

This is how I find true love.
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.

Tuesday, March 16

ரேஅது சோமே கரப்



Anyway.. I've decided to type my following post in Tamil.

Sit back and enjoy!

ஒன்சே உபொன் எ டைம், தேரே லிவேத் எ லிட்டில் கேர்ள் பி தி நேம் ஒப் கரசே.
ஷி'ச எ வெரி அடோரப்ளே, கிடே, நிசே, கிந்து அண்ட் ப்ரெட்டி கேர்ள். எவர்ய்போடி லோவேஸ் ஹேர். இ க்நொவ் யு லவ் ஹேர் டூ. இப் நாட், புகக் ஆப். யு சுக், அண்ட் மி டாக் பிட் யுர மாம் ௨ டாக்கி ற்றேஅட் போர் எ தந்து சோப். க்த்னக்ஸ்ப்யே.

Great...

. .
WHY
do cabs drivers always slow down
when I stand by the roadside??
.
What makes them think
I wanna take cab huh Huh HUHH??

.
.
I NEVER WAVE
MY SEXY HAND SIG
NAL
YOU STOP FOR WHAT!

.
.
I WANNA CROSS THE ROAD ONLY!! WHY MUST MAKE ME FEEL SO AWKWARD?!

I ALWAYS TAKE A LONG TIME TO CROSS THE ROAD.

CAUSE THE CARS
MAKE MY MEGA BALLS
SHRINK TO NANO.



Okay. Side-track a lil...

HAPPY KUKUBIRD DAY,
STUPID JC KID!!




ii
lu
rbb euu worxzs, best fwenzs 4eva!


. . .
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.
.

I WON

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.
.
Adding "I win" behind a statement really helps.


For example:


"You suck. I win."

"My dog slept with your mom. I win. "

"I saw your mom creeping into your dog's kennel last night. I win."

"This is my blog. I win."

"I'm scolding you without you realising it. I win."

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Devi Speaking

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Dicktionary.

Dicktation.

I dick not do it.

Dick you?
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.

I hate work

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..
.
.
Today is stupid jc kid's birthday.

Damn.. I rushed down to collect the cake right after attachment and ran around lot one to do some last minute gift shopping.

By the way, I'm an working adult now.
.
.
Keyword: A-D-U-L-T
WOOHOO!

I was holding the cake, a balloon, my phone, paper bag with my bento box and my wallet.

And of course... My ninja turtle backpack.

I combed the whole mall for stupid jc kid's gift.

I even begged like a dog at Comic connection ...

This malay salesgirl simply refuse to sell me the display..

OEI!! I WANNA BUY THAT
MINI DIM SUM FIGURE
FOR MY BFF YOU KNOW!!!

WHY DO YOU WANNA MAKE THINGS DIFFICULT FOR ME HUH HUH HUH?!

I almost wanna speak in malay accent to please her.

"Sial luh, sell me seh."

"My friend birthday siol.."


Almost. But I didn't.

I just pestered her and threw ba kua in her face.

I went home to put the cake in the fridge and went over to meet Dawn and stupid jc kid.

Well, then the 3 of us went to have dinner together.

So after dinner, Dawn pretended to go to the toilet but went to bring out the cake and lit the candles at the playground.

Then she pulled a genius stunt of the century.

She called stupid jc kid's phone (THE BIRTHDAY GIRL) and said,

"Faster bring her to the playground! I lit the candles already! "


FAIL. _|_

I fainted on the spot.



DAWN OOI IS A KUKU BIRD
WITH BOOGER BRAIN.
.
.
I've got myself a
cool indian name today.
.
.
.
Yours sincerely,
Devi Punnini, Daughter of Jai ho.
.


Wednesday, March 3

Dawn is my sister

pimp myspace


HAHAHAHA! LOOK AT DAWN.


FINGER-NOSE
FINGER-NOSE
FINGER-NOSE
FINGER-NOSE


Anyway. She text me something SUPER LAME this morning .

But still I ROFL LITERALLY.

Dawn's text :

R u sleeping, r u sleeping?
Sister grace, sister grace~~
Siao ding dong is singing,
Siao ding dong is singing~~
Fuck my life~ Fuck my life~
.
.
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Virtual vs Reality

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We haven't talked for days.


You know?
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