Tamil's da sex

Why does Blogger has an icon for typing in tamil, hindi
and a whole lot of apu neh neh language
but not in chinese or japanese?!

புகக் யு அண்ட் யுவர் மதர்'ச சிக் கன்ட் பாசே .

HAHA!


It's awesome to scold you in your nerd reader faces without you realising it.

stopdoingthat

I feel so patronized sometimes.

Bull shit.

Idontgivenoshitnomore

Growing up also meant growing apart.

Get real peeps.

KAN-TOE-NIECE

Dan says my Cantonese in the previous post is crappy.


I'm well-known for speaking crappy self-invented words for dialects.


BUT.


I still think


SEK BAO MOOOOOOO


Sounds funny.


And cool. (Y)

Ran-dom Con-dom

Why do all old people like to greet each other by asking

CHI BAO LE MA?

or

JIA BA BUEY?

And 99.9% chances people will reply

Chi bao le.

or

Jia ba liao.

You won't hear them saying

AR BUEY AR BUEY!
PA TOR SI BEI SI BEI
YAOOOOO.

Actually majority who have this tendency are usually the hokkiens.

You don't see Cantonese peeps going around asking people

Hey YOU! SEK BAO MO?

SEK BAO MOOOOO?

This only proves one thing.

HOKKIENS ARE VERY GIAN PENG.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Hi Daddy. I still love you.
You're the sexiest hokkien man around.

Eating disorder.

Pictures can be the most beautiful

yet cruel memories.

.

.

Why be so hard on yourselves,

you camwhoring bitches.

Hair-ripping Nipple-pinching

My unibff is oh-so-busy and I'm oh-so-sad.

My polybff is oh-so-self-denying and I'm oh-so-wanna-kill-him-and-win-that-bloody-bet-which-I've-obviously-won-it-but-he-just-wouldn't-admit-it.

God damn it.

emusareawesome

Emus are sexy.

So is my Halloween costume.

Kthxbye.

Ilikewhatilike

Formspring makes people sounds desperate.

Everybody goes, "C'mon! Ask me something! Ask me anything!"

HAHA.

I like.

I think it's funnay.

iwantudieyoung.

I've been trying hard to

get this point across to jg.

I wan tu die a grape,

not a raisin.

Sunshine..

Can't wait for school to get started.

Get busy with work and stuff.

Emptiness.

I cry every night.



Because I feel your pain.

To: My dearest.

You can give us up.

But we won't.

We'll be there.

Waiting for you. . . just like before.

World's Best Bff

My BFF just tagged me in a Facebook post today.

Apparently, she also tagged her cute lil cousin in it.

"Josh Teo Kai Xuan: Little Josh, my best friend Grace Ooi says you're so adorable and handsome!! She says she'll wait for you to grow up and marry her hahahah. you can consider, pretty jiejie hahaha."

Now I look like a living Pedobear or something. I almost died.

Shimmering poops

I just realised that breakfast

when separated is like break fast.

Well, it's the same thing actually.

So when my malay friends tell me

they gonna go break fast,

they actually meant

"I'm gonna eat my breakfast."

Why the cao ang moh who came up with the term try to make it sound so fancy?

Like breccck-ferrstt.

Ang mohs are always like that.

"Chaos"

Must pronounce as kayy-yohhs

Wtf.

Is obviously CHAO luh.

Like

"Hey you, chao chee bye."

"Chalet"

Must pronounce as shaaa-layy

Lanjiao.

Your mother ate the 'T' si bo ?!

Ogay. Just my random hullaballoo.

Dunch take it too seriously.

Hi my lil punanis

I wanna be like normal girls.

They have lotsa girl friends and go for girls' outing or whatever.

I don't have much female friends.

80% of my close friends are dudes.

Ogay here's a confession.

I get nervous when I have to talk to girls.

I don't know what to talk about really!

Everything must be phrased and spoken with lotsa sensitivity.

I sound so gay I know.

This is a typical conversation I always find myself trapped in when I talk to girls.

Me: Hi.. I'm grace.

Girl: Hi.. I'm wadeva-name-you-wanna-insert

Me: *awkward silence*

Girl: Wow.. I like your hair.

Me: (*Me with my ruined fringe*) Haha.. Really? Okay... Thanks..

See. Girls tend to take the effort

to make things sound better.

But I'm lacking of the feminine sensitivity.

How to make friends like that?!

When I do it my way,

which is the honest and sincere way,

GIRLS HATE ME.

Me: Hi..

Girl: Hey.. What do think of my new hair cut?

Me: Mmm. Not bad. But I think your previous hair cut looks better. It defines your features more y'know.

Girl: (*face twitched*) Oh.. Haha. Ya.. Gotta go. Kbye.

TAA-DAAAA!!!

This is how I earned my bad reputation among my fellow female species.

Guys don't give a damn bout tiny details so I hit it off well with them.

BUT.

Bad side: Their girlfriends hate me.

Either ways, I'm the bad guy.

C'mon, for guan yin ma's sake.

I-DON'T-GO-FOR-ATTACHED-GUYS

To me, attached guys are like magnets dropped on the floor.

THEY LOSE ALL THE ATTRACTION.

Alright I'll tell you what.

Sometimes the way I praise my friends'

girlfriends makes them worried instead okay?

But NO. It was plain admiration.

I know what your lil punani brains are thinking.

Long time, mate.

I FUCKIN CAN'T STAND YOU.

Who?

YOU, MOTHERFUCKIN' VIRGINA FACE.

People who post i-think-i-am-very-funny kinda Facebook status simply DRIVE ME NUTS.

There's this geeky guy on my Facebook who's ALWAYS posting shout-outs expressing discrimination against girls.

What's worst? He thinks he makes a hell lot of sense and is always looking forward for people to like or agree.

WTF?

You are ugly, short and you look like the wart at the back of your ah gong's ass.

AND HELLO?

You Facebook profile picture has you
WEARING THIS RELIGIOUS HAT,
LOOKING LIKE A DOWN SYNDROME KID

AND OBVIOUSLY

YOUR GOD DON'T LOVE YOU.

Seriously, is ugly the new confidence booster?

Ugly guys are ALWAYS the ones that see females as lower class creatures.

Sorry, but here's our hierarchy..

Hot people > Normal people > Ugly people > Freaky people

Guess what?

YOU'RE NOT EVEN
IN THE HIERARCHY
CAUSE YOU'RE UGLY AND FREAKY.

He thinks it's not guys fault to openly stare at boobs and make dirty comments cause the girls simply do not respect themselves.

Hey dweeb fuck, so you're sayin girls should go up to your face and say, "I'm sorry that my tits caused your warped character and twisted mind."

YOUR TAO NAO PAI SI BO?!

*Knock knock*

Who's there?

It's me, Grace. THE SCHOOLMATE THAT WANNA SUCKER PUNCH YOUR DOUCHE FACE, HANG YOU BY YOUR PEA SIZE BALLS AND HIT YOU LIKE A MOTHERFUCKIN GOD DAMN PINATA. Remember me? *coy smile*


He also thinks that girls are parasites that torture you and eat you alive so he's warning all guys to never let their guards down.


SMLJ?

Confirm too much hentai, motherfuckface.

I tell you what.

NORMAL GUYS. ADORE. PARASITES. LIKE. US.

AND FREAKY GUYS LIKE YOU TOTALLY DIE TO GET GIRLS BUT YOU CAN'T SO YOU PRETEND YOU DON'T WANT TO.

Get it? Aww.. we really don't call you losers for nothing y'know.

And another thing. You DON'T have to let your guard down. Let me tell you what.

Wear a chastity belt and throw away the key. You'll feel better when your friends in hell ask you "Why die a virgin?"

You can always answer them with a sunshine smile, "Cause I lost the key."

Instead of
"The only pussy I've stroked
has fur and purrs."

Beyond Love.

Every tear,

Every frown,

Represents our love for you.

This is family.

This is love.

Storm's over.

This is love.

. . .

Dear God,

Please bless her.

Please look over her.

Please dry her tears.

Please protect her.

Please bring her peace.

Please hold her hands.

Please guide her.

Love, Grace.

Non-ideal is ideal

Fuck dreams. Nothing but cruel illusions.

Last night I had a dream.

I've never felt happiness like that.

Never in my dreams and definitely never in reality.

Nope. I wasn't a billionaire's daughter with lotsa admirers, neither am I a rock star basking in the public's attention.

I'm still the pathetic kid I am, just like in the reality. Shabbily dressed in my repeatedly-worn clothes, stepping on my semi-ripped canvas shoes, with hair looking as messy as ever.

But he was beside me, holding my hand like I'm a lil girl all over.



It's strange how a dream is capable of creating such overwhelming emotion in the human mind.

When I woke up, I felt so angry at myself for waking up.

My happiness was confiscated.



I actually felt devastated for the morning over a non-existence relationship.

Wtf.

Me and my absurd stupidity.

Wadevaaa.

Doggie problems

I'm really not used to being in contact with my dog's 鸡鸡.

And I have a question to ask.

Dear whoever out there that has a dog,

had a dog

OR

simply treat your younger siblings like dogs,

Is it normal for young puppies to gnaw and chew on you?

Or maybe it's just plain hatred.

T..T

Irrelevant things are relevant

Dunch lyke datz nehhsz.

Cummx baq n readd moiix blogx lehhxz.

Sorrix worzx. Verii bz sho ii neberx updatexs.

I like to look at mature and pretty looking ah lians.

But i scared they "OEI KUA LAN JIAO" me.

I don't like to look at secondary school small ah lians.

Cause I scared they "waiixz euuzx lookinxs at miiex" me.

I will throw up.

Like A Long Never Blog.

Why would people wanna type 'Hawt' instead of 'Hot'?

Like.. "That guy is so HAWT."

H-O-T = 3 letters

H-A-W-T = 4 motherfuckin-bloody-ccb-knn-wtf-hair-ripping-nipple-pinching-balls-kicking letters

For WHAT?!

Wait let me try.

Verii funnx mehzxs? ii dunchx lykezx sialzxs. Shoo steppzx onee patternzxs. Euu goo relacxz onez cornerr pluckz armpitzx hairrx okiiez. MuUackieszx jieex moiis 4everxz.

And I saw a fail case on facebook today.

"I can't get Vanness Wu outta my head! He's so hwat! ♥"

HUAT AH!

=..= You failed.

Everybody dance nowWw

I put what I wanna say

to you on my heart...

and my right ear.

It says CB.

The onions look like manicured nails.

Chaos is Order

My face says 不要这样 .

HAHAHAHAHAHA

I love hanging out with Dawn.

Dawn's going to Australia to study.

But I think it's an excuse.

I THINK SHE JUST WANNA FIND A CHANCE TO BREAK FREE FROM ME.

T..T

No Grace = Paradise.

ANYWAY.

I WANT AN ANGMOH NIECE.

PLEASEEEEE DAWN PLEASEEEEE.

Hi Dawn. Tecktonik's breaking your old bones apart. HAHA.

Randomness.

Bad luck seems to start befalling on people around me.

Maybe they should go nego with guan yin ma too.

Her house's at bugis.

Talking bout bugis..

Went for shisha with dan, jon, audrey, yc, alex and shi heng yesterday.

EmokidsFTW.

Elf

Life became so hard.

SAD. ANGER. ANXIETY.

FEAR. ANGST.

DISAPPOINTMENT. WORRY. FRUSTRATION.

GUILT. DESPAIR. REMORSE.

HELPLESS. DOUBT. STRESS. SHOCK.

I lost 'Happy' along the way.

LMAO

Nana is so funnay today.

The moment she came home,

She told me, " Today must watch OKTO channel! My friend in the show!"

When the show started, there were a few teenage boys doing break dancing and Nana was screaming away.

"You know the teenage boys?!"

I was totally WTF. She's only 11 and knows teenage boys. Hiao-ness x500.

"No. My friend is in the audience.

There, you see behind there!"

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

FUCKING LOSER! ZOMG.

CLASSIC RETARD

WHEN YOUR MASCARA DON'T VIBRATE, YOU JUST VIBRATE YOUR HEAD LIKE THIS.


HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

ELECTROCUTED.

ZOMGWTFICEMILOFTW.

HELLO VIBRATE YOUR HAND LUH AUNTIE?!

Lesson learnt:

IF YOUR TOOTHBRUSH CAN'T VIBRATE,

VIBRATE YOUR JAW.

IF YOUR HANDPHONE CAN'T VIBRATE,

VIBRATE YOUR HAND.

IF YOUR DILDO CAN'T VIBRATE,

GET A MAN.

worst than shit.

Today I was still feeling real moody.

After my practical, I went to defecate.

The end.

This post has no meaning.

I just wanna use the word 'defecate'.

Bless me ogay?

Today I went to Guan Yin Ma's house at Bugis.

Went to nego with her.

Hope she would bring away my bad luck.

Bless me ogay?!

Please, pretty please..

=..=

armpits

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Hi.

I think I've became mentally unstable after I lost my phone.

Like some menopausal old bye bye.

I'll walk around the house just like any other day.

And suddenly go.

ARRRRRRRGH!!!

Ya. I scream to the air molecules.

Emotional outburst's da sex .

CCB

CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB CCB

The only vocab running

through my mind all day.

.

.

.