LOOK!

Good Afternoon.

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As you all know, Valentine's Day is coming..
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It's so near that I swear I can see

tiny little heart shapes with fluffy white wings

floating around.

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Wouldn't it be MARVELLOUS to be able to spread the passion and share the love.
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Buying gifts is the greatest way to express your love..
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And buying a Barbie Phone will DEFINITELY be the most ingenious way

to kick someone into the

Holy Fountain of Love!
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PLEASE LET ME SWIM IN THE HOLY FOUNTAIN OF LOVE!

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BUY ME A BARBIE PHONE!!!!!!

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Alright, in case you wanna buy it for your girlfriend instead of me (you bloody ignorant fucker)
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Go get it from http://alohacloset.blogspot.com/
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THIS IS NOT

AN ADVERTORIAL OKAY~

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I'm just totally grateful to the owner for allowing me to get to know the existence of such lovely lovable phone. Though I'm not buying it. But looking at pretty and lovely stuff brightens up my day equally.
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I'm on a strict Save-Alot-Of-Money plan.
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So I am not suppose to break the Cannot-Buy-A-Barbie-Phone-You-Pathetic-BItch rule.
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As you can see..

It's in the shape of a compact powder.

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HOW BLOODY CUTE

CAN IT GET

YOU TELL ME !

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I must admit it is a bimbo phone.

With sub-standard camera and functions.

but.

IT'S CHIO.

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I know I look like some senile breast-sagging granny.
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But can you just take pity on me and buy me a BARBIE PHONE.
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BYE.

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..

Thanks SP.

GOD
DAMN IT !

I've just received a bloody warning letter from SP.

FUCK!!!

The best part is that my dad's got a copy too.

I FUCK YOU, SCHOOL.

Where are all your SAVE THE TREES principles.

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This was mine~
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This was Daddy's...

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Dear Sir/Madam,

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FAILURE TO MEET ATTENDANCE REQUIREMENT UNDER THE EXAMINATIONS RULES (need to capitalise the alphabets meh? Afraid that my dad doesn't have microscopic eyesight ah?!)

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This is to inform you that........, your attendance in class...did not meet the minimum requirement as set....Sinagapore Polytechnic Examination Rules. (Why won't you send a letter telling my dad how much effort i put in to make myself look hot in school everyday.)

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The Examinations Board has therefore decided....., you will be given only a Pass(P) or Fail(F) grade in the following module....blah Blah YADA YADAAAA.. (Therefore, Miss Hottie Grace has decided to shove my middle finger up your fuck face to express my gratitude and you will be given a chance to Phuck(P) or Fuck (F) 500 dogs in 2 minutes..)

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This is so bloody irritating.

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Oh well. Whatever, School.

It doesn't matter.

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I swear I'll steal 5 toilet rolls everyday from now on till I graduate.

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BYE.

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I Have The Last Say

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Tell me.

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Can you spot the big fat cross on the

top right hand corner of the screen ?

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Everyone has the right to read my blog

and of course leave anytime they like.

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But not everyone has the right to shoot their mouths off.

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No no~ Uh-uhh~

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At least not in

My Blog My Tagboard My Sight.

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Just being curious.

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Does your mom has Gonorrhea??

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I really can't find any other reason

that had caused your blindness.

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You DO know what's Gonorrhea RIGHT ?

or DO YOU NOT ?

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*smiles*

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Don't Worry, You Pathetic Thing.

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That's what happens when

YOUR MOM SLEEPS AROUND.

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So you know why you're nameless huh?

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CAUSE

YOUR MOM DIDN'T KNOW

WHOSE SURNAME

YOU SHOULD TAKE AFTER.

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That's why everyone calls you

'Da Son of a Bitch'

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Now you know why

your mom uses a baseball bat

instead of tampons?

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Hey hey. Don't try to correct me

and tell me your real gender.

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That's like TOTALLY HUMBLE.

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You know I can easy google it out, don't you.

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I mean what's so difficult.

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Afterall, your mom sleeps around.

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There may even be a wikipage.

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WHO KNOWS.

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Alright.

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Now let's end the post

with some lovely and adorable

wonders on Earth.

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She's such a Darling.

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Bye.

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I rule. You suck.

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I am a critical person.

Yes. I do LOVE to criticise.

And NO. I do not look at myself before criticising..

Why should I ? I wouldn't criticise myself anyway.


So WAKE UP THE MORONIC IDEA.

Shut up and swallow your hackneyed shit !


Firstly. I am totally disgusted by people, or should i be mean and say FAT ONES,

wearing AIR-TIGHT leggings and a pathetic tiny top which is totally so not enough to cover their butts.

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As a result?

They allow their wobbly fat butts hanging down like

two humongous flaps

SAVE ME FROM

THE CATASTROPHE !

GUAN YIN MA !

. What's Lagi Lagi Bagus Bagus Best Best~?

Their gigantic flaps sway from one end of the Earth to the other as they stroll down the road.

HALT!!

If you're trying to drown me with the YOU-DON'T-KNOW-NO-FASHION crap.

Then I must admit

I REALLY DON'T KNOW NUTS BOUT YOUR FASHION AND THANK YOU

BUT

DO LEAVE ME OUT OF YOUR HIDEOUS FASHION STATEMENT.

PLEASE. I BEG YOU.

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DRESS LIKE A HUMAN THE NEXT TIME YOU LEAVE YOUR HOUSE.

Need some tips?

First step. Think like one.

NEXT .
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DO ENLIGHTEN ME.

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WHY DO SOME PEOPLE LOOK INCORRIGIBLY UGLY IN HIGH WAIST BOTTOM

BUT INSIST ON WEARING THEM?

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You've got a problem with your neck?

If not, why won't you FACE UP to the reality.

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Look, Stare or Ogle!

Do whatever you want.

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This is

GORGEOUS HOT CHIO CANTEK

high waist.

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HOWEVER

UNFORTUNATELY

MANY FASHIONISTA-WANNABE FOOLS

LOOK LIKE THAT

v

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Face It You Virgina Faces.
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Nice.
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Like It ?
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LOVE IT.

Jerks

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This Is What I Think Now

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Guys are dirt cheap and possess the ability to produce all sorts of shit.
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" You name it, They've got it. "


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In short, they are belong to the moronic group of beings in the society.


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i know this is steorotype.
But do i look as if i care?


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Listen up Dickheads. The fact is...


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Not all guys are jerks.

But all jerks are guys.

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So Take It , Live It , Love It.

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Fuck

Fuck

is an amazing word.

Vulgarities have become so common now. I believe most people know them but it's up to the to use it or blow it.

Like it or anot, we've been infested with the culture of vulgarity unknowingly.

Take this brand for instance :

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Established brand isn't it. It could be found many malls and its sign hangs tall and proud.

Yes, it caused fierce controversy at first, with all the lawsuits and blah blah yada yada.

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Those fcuk people just insisted that it was an acronym for "French Connection United Kingdom".

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PIAK! It slaps tape to everyone's mouth and all they could do is to shut up and accept it.

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But come on, we all know what this brand is driving at with all the "too busy to fcuk", "fcuk off" and "what the fcuk" t-shirts.

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Another fucking amazing thing with Fuck is..

IT'S NEVER ENOUGH !!

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#1 I hate the way you fucked your Boss yesterday.

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#2 I fucking hate the way you fucked your Boss yesterday

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#3 I fucking hate the way you fucked your fucking Boss yesterday

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#4 I fucking hate the fucking way you fucked your fucking Boss yesterday

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#5 I fucking hate the fucking way you fucked your fucking fucked up Boss yesterday.

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Fuck

has also became

a special type of expression .

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#1 What The Fuck ?

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#2 Fuck Off !

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#3 Fuck You !

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#4 You Fuck Face !

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#5 I don't give a Fuck about it.

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#6 He's such a motherFucker !

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Cursing and Swearing have taken on a whole new meaning in life.

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Sometimes, it helps you to express an extreme emotion which allows you to feel much better.

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When you said "Fuck you ! " to someone, you wouldn't mean to start stripping and bedding the person. In many cases you just want to be able express your extreme anger/irritation into words.

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I've been deemed a vulgar person for my whole life.

Be it by my family, friends, non-friends or

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FUCKED UP BLOG READERS WHOM

I'VE JUST MURDERED THEIR MOTHERS

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It's time to stand up for the

Vulgarity Culture.

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Tag "i love fcuk" at the tagboard to show support.

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LET'S FUCK

CIVILISATION !

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Patience please

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According to my observation for all of my 17 years, I've realised that driving drives people insane.

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Soft-spoken ones turn into Rabies infected crazy dogs.

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Hot-tempered ones turn into WILD SCARY MUTANTS from the mad scientist lab.

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I would say my mom WAS a gentle and demure lady. However, ever since she started driving again 6 months ago (well. she stop driving for 8 years)...

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OH MY

GUAN YIN MA !!

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It became an utter TORMENT to sit in her car.

She'll go

"TA MA DE! How can like that cut people's lane one!"

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Then if there's someone who jaywalk, she'll start ranting again,

"OI STUPID AUNTIE ! YOU WANT DIE IS IT!"

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Wait a minute.. You haven't heard the worst.

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Proudly Presenting....

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MY DAD.

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My dad is like forever getting into fights on the road. I meant FIGHTS literally.

Okay, he wasn't so much of a peace-lover to begin with.. That explains the mutation of human behavior after 20 years of driving.

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He gets carried off even more easily after he changed to his Audi. Everyday on the road must speed speed here speed speed there.

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There was once this motorist honked at my dad for no reason. So in return. my dad honked back at the moron. Of course that moronic man wasn't happy and gave chase.

What did daddy do? He sped off at this super scary speed, not forgetting to flaunt his middle finger..

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And dad still went " Ha! Toyota how to fight with my Audi ! "

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Okay okay.

CHILDISH i know. Luckily I didn't inherit his shortcoming. * dang *

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In conclusion.

Driving is a test of patience.

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What A Turn Off !

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I don't understand why would there be existence of judgemental airheads around.

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Well.

I don't even judge you for being a judgemental dick face,

who are you to judge me then?

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Am i standing in your path to achieve

multiple screaming orgasms ?

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Or have i accidentally ate the key to your

chastity belt ?

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*Burrrrp~*

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On top of judgemental, is hypocrisy another beautiful virtue

passed on by your ancestors?

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Let me help you trace your ancestry,

since you're so FAKE..

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Did your ancestors originate from.. let me see.. the wax museum?

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OH GOD!

How could you allow such a MAJOR defect to be sent to the mortal world.

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oh well, since you've also sent down

Hitler, Osama and Nana..

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What difference would one more make anyway right ?

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I KNOW ! I KNOW ! That's the reason why you've sent me down!

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There must be someone who's more than perfect to

NEUTRALISE their faults isn't it !

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I truthfully sincerely hope oneday,

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SHIT CASCADES OUT OF

YOUR SHOWER HEAD !

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Thumper

this post was supposed to be up

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the day before T-rex was born.

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but i dragged till archeologists start digging up its skeletons.

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*tsk tsk*

my bad my bad.

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that's Maggie, Bestie and Gracie.

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i was summoned down to Thumper

cause little miss Maggie was feeling

low low low loWw..

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.Crystal and i skipped work to go down to thumper.

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that crazy girl even hastily bought

a whole new outfit from Far East .
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however thumper..

is now officially a

HISTORY

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well. it closed down.

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by the way.

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please tell me

you noticed that i changed my blogskin.

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Alright.
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BYE.

I've got big fat juicy bruises on my shin.

okay !

everybody bow and smile like a moron to the

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FUCKING UNDERAGE CLUBBER !

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went to Arena again on Saturday night

for Nigg's Birthday.

Yeah yeah. i managed to smoke myself in like a Ninja..AGAIN.

*3452 cheers !!*

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oki. the truth is the stupid bouncer stared at my ID

*apparently not exactly MINE*

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for like 3 million minutes before he said,

" Cannot use this next time."

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what whAT WHAT !!

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JUST YOU WAIT TILL APRIL 13 !

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i will fucking shove my IC up your ass and

SLIDE IT BETWEEN YOUR BUTT CRACK

LIKE A GODDAMN VISA CARD !

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*basking in flower-shaped confetti,

flaunting my pink polka dots undies skipping around*

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WOOHOO~!
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Dear Legal Age...

HERE I COME RUNNING INTO YOUR ARMS,

KISSING YOUR BOOBS!

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Talking about boobs...

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JEALOUS HUH ?

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Please promise that you'll

stay tuned for more picture updates

even if you don't mean it.

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I can smell my nose.

i think i've been such a bad BAD bestie recently.

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though i swear i didn't do it on purpose.

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i haven't been blogging recently too.
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well.. i just didn't feel like.
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see. now i am such a bad BAD blogger..
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by the way.. i saw an interview with the Iljimae guy today.
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and guess what.
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i realised he look 98% alike to this person i know.
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make a guess. It's a girl.
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well.. she's DEFINITELY not my friend.
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and she's not even FIT to be my foe.
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mmm.. i'll post the Iljimae guy's photo next time.
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and you may know who the person is.
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EMBRACE 2009

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EVERYBODY SAY HI TO

2009 !!!
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and hi to Dear Jane.

went to Holland Village for dinner.
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but.. AWWW..


we forgot to bring our cameras out.

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So .... *Gua Gua~*


No pictures of our fabulous dinner.
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then we went to Xin's house for


MAHJONG
*let me hear you screammm*








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HAHAHA!!!!!
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EVERYBODY


LAUGH AT THEIR
DOWN SYNDROME FACES



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that was what happened on

31st December 2008

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as for

1st January 2009

xin and i went to MOF.

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our BooBs looking desserts..

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it really helps to double up your cup size.

mine's became like . .

T cup.

i know what you're thinking.

I Am Not Referring To TEA CUP .

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by the way

i permed my hair yesterday

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as you can see from the pictures taken above

but

*SCREAMS !!! *

it straightens the very next day.

SEE..

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V

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mmm. heard that i gotta wax and style my hair

to get those curls back .

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but i was actually looking for perms which still curls

(at least more than what i have now)

even without putting all those products

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maybe like those auntie kind..

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they don't style their curls either.
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Any recommendations

PEOPLE!

BYE.