ABALIPILAPOLAPEH

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A friend of mine has a crooked nose.

A friend of mine has ears that stick out.

A friend of mine has buck teeth.

A friend of mine looks like he's constantly in pain.

A friend of mine can find a spoon in his soup.

A friend of mine love guys.

A friend of mine will eat you if you say "Cheeseee".

Last but not least,

A sister of mine is a dwarf who's a midget.