Fetish with mee siam.

.
.
.
You are always my priority.
.
And I must let you know that you're always in my heart.
.
You make me crave for you all day.
.
I can never get enough of you.
.
I long to see you every morning.
.
And I hope you can be with me in the noon and night too.
.
You make me wanna devour you like a beast.
.

I love you,

Mee siam.

.

.

.

I promised not to fall in love with

mee soto or lontong.

I'll just love you with all my heart.

.

.

.

.

However, can you promise

Not to drip on my white colour clothes,

Or splat on my face when you're with me.

.

.

I shall forgive what you did to me today.

But please stop it.

It turns me off.

.

.

.

.

.
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My handphone has gone cranky.
.
.
.
Early in the morning, it " Tee-Tee, Tee-TEE " for god damn 9 consecutive times..
.
.
.
9 messages flood in. And all of them were from yesterday night.
.
.
.
What The Fuck. If someone sms-ed me for help,

The person would have be dead, skinned and discarded
by the time the messages reach me.
.
.
Actually it happened a couple of times already.
.
Not someone being killed. But messages are unable to reach me.
.
.
.
And most of the time I'm thinking
" This person is god damn fucked up. Why doesn't this mofo reply my message.. "
.
And of course, I believe it's vice versa.
I'll get cursed by people too. DAMN.
.
.
Now I see..
The problem lies with me.
.
It makes me feel as if I'm living in a glass jar.
.
.

Fuck you, phone.

Fuck you.

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.
.
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Discomfort

.
.
.
I am throwing up for
the second time

and having

numerous runs.

.

.

What on Earth

have I eaten.

.

.

Or did someone cast a

voodoo spell on me.

.

.

.

Help.

..

.
.

.
Elaine has phobia for rodents..
.
.
I can't keep hamsters.
.
.

Damn that mofo.

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.
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Pubic Disaster

.

.

.

My hair feels like public hair,

Looks like pubic hair,

.

Sometimes I'm convinced that

It IS pubic hair.

.

.

I'm having pubic-hair hair.

.

Should I just snip off my pubic-hair hair or should I not?

.

.

It's disastrous. Totally.

.

Thanks to all the dyeing, perming and thinning,

Now I have pubic-hair hair hanging on my head.

.

.

.

I get to flaunt pubic hair while you can't.

I do understand your level of jealousy.

.

.

Fart Girl

.
.
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I'm like stinky fart.
.
.
Everybody is aware of my presence.
.
.

But none admits my existence.

.
.
.

I'm a fart girl.

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.
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Pest Infest.

.
.

I've been pestering people around me for company,

Ranging from real to virtual to imaginary.

.
What a pest. *spray pesticide all over myself*

.

But I fear being alone.

Many say I should learn.

.
.
I'm always seeking for attention and companionship.
Only when there are people around me,

then I'll truly feel my presence and existence.

.
.
I know I'm acting like a big time loser.
.

I know everyone has their own life.

I know I should have mine too.

.
.

I should stop being a life-size roach.

.

.

I promise not to pester you people anymore.

At least at lower frequency.

.

.

.

.

LOST

.
.
.
I'm feeling really lost right now.
.
.
.

I don't know what steps to take next

And I don't have anyone to guide me.

.

.

.

.

I've screwed up my life.

.

Dad's gonna kill me.

.

.

.

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Go to DMC !

.

I watched DMC. . .
.

I FINALLY WATCHED

DMC!!!!

.

Kenichi Matsuyama is super cute! oh my guan yin ma!
.
.
And the best thing is... IT'S FREE! I've got movie vouchers!

.

Three cheers to guan yin ma!

And of course.. Not forgetting to thank Daddy..

And the biggest winner is zL..

.

He's a big time sponger and dreams to be with my rich cousin.

.

He watched a free movie and free cab ride back.
.

.

.

.
He's uber uber uber funny.. And I uber uber love him..
.
but the only thing that spoilt my day is that
.
.

my GOD DAMN starbucks coffee bottle cap got stucked and

LAGI BEST

the only person beside me is zL...

*you do get my point, don't you. *

It's a DIE DIE MUST WATCH MOVIE!

.

Cause.. he's cute.

.

.
See See SEEEEEEEEE~
.

I told you he's super cute right..

Now your heart is melting too, isn't it???

.

.

What are you waiting for huh?!
.
.
.

NOW STOP READING MY GOD DAMN BLOG

AND GO CATCH IT!!

.
.
.
It's another day alone at home.
I haven't stepped out of my house for almost 3 centuries.
.
.
I should seriously consider donating my money away.
.
There's no hourly charge for staying at home anyway.
.
.
I wake up each day, discovering more and more cobwebs on me.
.
.
I feel so sick of me.
.
.
How I wish I'd break my pinky or thumb or whatever.
.
Then I would have no choice but to drag my ass out and get it fixed.
.
Now. I am not in the slightest motivated to wriggle out to get some fresh air.
.
.

This is so pathetic, Grace.

.

So so pathetic.

.
.

Get a life.

Buttcrack

.
.
Cover the face.
.
.
.

Fuck the base.

.
.
.
.
Why not. Guys are guys afterall.
.
.
.
.

SOMEBODY SAVE ME!

.
.
.
.
no dinner tonight...
.
.
.

I AM STARVING!!!

.

.

PUSH your mother off the cliff

.

.

.

.
Went to watch Push yesterday. Now do allow me to share it with you.
.
.
This movie is basically about some super people with super powers. Very typical hollywood style. I seriously find the movie quite inane.
.
.
Okay. But the one thing I find weird about the movie is the absence of subtitles.
.
Well. It's rather uncommon to find movies in S'pore without subtitles.

Perhaps it reflects how unpopular it is.
.

.

Super People #1

.

She's the Pusher.

.

She buys lousy quality and sub-standard contact lens which doesn't stay in place and vibrates about.

.

.

Alright alright. She hypnotises people.
.

.

.

.
Super People #2
.
She's a watcher.
She can see the future.
She keeps drawing ugly pictures throughout the movie.
.
But in my opinion, she should be called..... the DRAWER..
.
.
.
Super People #3
.
They are the... fuckers.
.
HAHAHAHAHAHA. They've got retarded fuck face.
.
okay. I really can't recall the name.
.
.
.

Now. I have to say.

.

I really hate the way they add an "-er" to every word

making it sound goddamn awkward.

.

.

Pusher, mover, watcher, mother, fucker or whatever .

.

IT'S JUST SO

FUCKING WEIRD!

.

.

Push push push.

.

Push your god damn mother off the cliff .

.

.

.

Sad .

.
.

Daddy, Mommy and Nana are off to malaysia.

.
.
.
In a few days time, xin will be off to Korea.
.
.
.

Now I am all alone . Nibbling on my Tim-Tam.

.

.

.

It's almost dinner time.

Someone please ask me out for dinner !!

I want what I want

.
.
.
I wanna go to the Zoo.
.
.

I wanna go to Sentosa.

.

.

I wanna go Farmart.

.

.

I wanna go prawning.

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.

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Mocca Mocca

.

.

.

For my Daddy!

.

For my Mommy!

.

For my Doggie and Me!

.

.

.

.

Stupid Mocca Ad.

Now the stupid jingle is stucked in my brain.

.

.

.

.

BYE.

.

.

.

Kungfu Baby

.

.

I seldom watch youtube videos.

.

But this is really too captivating.

.

.

.

.

The Missing E

.
I've been cooping up at home for nearly a week. The only place I can go is the hospital.
.

GOD

SAVE ME FROM MY MUNDANE LIFE!

.

.
Na na drew me a birthday cum Get-well card/A4 paper.
But Nana, it's really kinda early.
.

Well, it's the thoughts that counts anyway.

.

.

Very ugly but still adorable in it's own way..

I did told her to... DRAW MY EYES CHIO CHIO.

.

.

By the way. I spotted a spelling error.

.

.

Grace : " Oei nana. Your doRAmon spell wrongly."

.

Nana : " HUH. Really meh. Where. *stil give me that UNBELIEVABLE LOOK* "

.

Grace : " Nehh. *point point* Your E missing. "

.

Nana : " Orh.. Okay okay.. "

.

WALAO! AND SHE GAVE ME THIS!

AN IMPROPORTIONATE "E"

.

I was thinking that she will re-do the card or whatever.
.

.

Feel like having her

hung, drawn and quartered

.

.

.

BYE.

.

.

.

I take vitamins E-vil

.

.

It's kinda spine-tingling to have someone pointing his/her finger into your face,

between your brows, right on your freshly popped zit.

.

.

I know I am known for blogging without the use of my microscopic brain.

.

Yes, I do love to blurt out all kinds of shits without thinking

(ranging from ice-cream-like faeces to chocolate-fudge-like poops)

.

I adore ranting. I enjoy inflicting followed by digging at one's wound.

.

I indulge in cursing and swearing at whoever that crosses my path.

.

.

.

My dominant gene screams FIEND, and I am a borned engineer

who builds my happiness at the expense of one's pain.

.

.

When I was taught to write the word "LIVED" ,

I wrote it backwards instead.

"DEVIL"

.

.

I shower in pure evil each day. I devour tiny demons with milk for breakfast and swallow pills of Vitamin E-vil.

.

.

I craddle in the arms of destruction,

While cries of children lullaby me to sleep.

.

.

You see me as shrewd, while I take it as a compliment

And expresses my gratitude by bowing

followed by a stab in your guts

.

.

.

Now you know who or what I am.

Stop being a moaning minnie.

.

You can always choose to steer away

from my path to free the satan in me .

.

But don't judge me.

.

It only shows that you don't know me.

.

.

.

.

And if that's the case, who are you to judge me then.

.

.

.

.

.

BYE.

.

.

.

.

I LOVE WHAT I LOVE

.
.

LET ME HEAR YOU

SCREAM REAL LOUD

.
.
.
.
I saw this online and really really really really wanna buy it.
.
But Elaine thinks I'm really weird and so not cute.
.
.
.
I'm like TOTALLY EXTREMELY OBSESSED WITH IT .

MA PO TOFU! OH MY GOD!!!!!

RAMEN! LOOK!!!

AND FRIED RICE! KILL ME!

SO VERY EXTREMELY CUTE RIGHT!

.

.

But Dawn made it clear that I'm not behaving like

normal people

by hanging a fried rice-filled spoon on my handphone.

.

.

.
And when I wanted the one below,

I find myself a lil weird too.

.

.

.

IT'S FA KUEH LEH!! OMG OMG OMG OMG!!

.

.

FA KUEHH!!!

.

.

Note: The content below is not suitable for the faint hearted,

pregnant woman or ugly and so-not-cute people.

_____________

I WANT MY DECOTTI PLEASE.

MY HEART LITERALLY SQUEEZED INTO A BALL OF. .. . HEART

WHEN I SEE THIS!

SO CUTE LOR!

.

.

.

.

.

BYE.

FORGET IT.

It's so damn FUCKING HARD to ask a favour from people.
.
.
.
Nabeh.
,
.
,

DON'T. I repeat. DON'T EVEN TRY TO ASK FOR MY HELP.

...

.

I'LL GIVE YOU MULTIPLE SCREAMING KICKS IN YOUR GOD DAMN ARSES.

.

.

.

.

.

BYE FUCKHEADS.

(I choose to use this gross color to address you)

.

.

I love India,

28/02/09 -- 01/03/09

Xin and I went to watch Slumdog Millionaire on the 28th. Oh my god.
.

I LOVE THAT GOD DAMN MOVIE!

.

I really liked the way it reveals all the "blind spots" of India.

I also love the idea that it portrays India in another angle, an angle different from what we see from those "Incredible India" kind of commercials. We get to look at things through the eyes of a "slumdog".

.

Take Taj Mahal for example. It is still as pretty in the commercial as in the movie, but it was not all about some bigtime emperor who loves his wife, instead the movie has shown a more "local" point of view than a "tourist" point of view.

.

LOoOVE IT .

.

AFTER SLUMDOG,

OFF TO MUSTAFA.

.

.

Xin and I were very "indian" that day. I love it.

.

We alighted at Little India, than realised it was the wrong stop. So some MRT people, who is COINCIDENTALLY an indian, void our deduction. YAY! There ARE indeed nice indians!

.

NOT YOU DHINEESH. NEITHER DOES IT APPLY TO YOU, SAKTHIES .

I still wanna stab the both of you.

And your mothers.

.

.
BALA BALA HOM!
.
Dear perverts who like to harass me on the train:

I will turn your dicks into virginas if you try to hold my hand again.
.
.
.

Oh. Forget to mention. It was a really small world. I met Jeremy and his girlfriend outside Mustafa. And they recommend us to eat the prata opposite.

.

Xin couldn't decide whether to eat some maggi goreng or whatever.

WHEN EVERYONE AROUND US WERE EATING PRATAS!

OEI! HELLO?!!

.

..

I always thought Indians are known for their virility.
Didn't expect them to be needing this too.

But still, there are black sheeps everywhere.

.

.

.

Well. At least they do guarantee some satisfaction.

.

HORNY goat weeds.

.

Gosh.

Kinky.
.

.

Of course . I have my own fantasy too.
.
.
Xin and I were totally lost in our own worlds. We were enjoying every moment in Mustafa. I swear that would be our next favourite hang out. We shopped for like 4 hours and cabbed home at 3 plus I guess. It's like a HUGE treasure chest.
.
Patience is really all what it takes.. If I am in a gleeful mood, I may consider posting pictures of treasure I found at Mustafa.
.
.

(Btw, right now, my stupid neighbour, the indian kid, is kicking soccer outside my house AND AGAINST MY DOOR again. FUCK. I really wanna love indians, cause I think indians can be really nice and sweet.... SO he and his brother better stop it before I barge out and WRING YOUR TINY BROWN NECKS OFF YOUR TINY BROWN BODIES.)

.

.
.

BYE.
(Don't you think this color is like fucking gross)

.

.

When i say slut, i meant you.

When I Say Slut, I Meant You.

.

.

SLUT SLUT

SLUTTTTTTT!!!!

.

.

Okay. End of you.

Back to me.

-------------------------------

.

I went to IMM with xin today. I liked it. Cause there are morons everywhere to cheer me up.

.

.

.

We took the shuttle bus to IMM and while boarding, xin and me accidentally separated this china family of three. So...the mommy and kid was infront of xin, then behind me was the daddy.

.

.

The bus was like fucking packed.

However, the mommy managed to find a sit, so she sat down with her kid on her laps, and xin was standing next to her sit. I was standing next to xin, and there was this empty sit next to me, but it was obviously reserved for the her husband, though I don't know why THE FUCK is he hesitating.

.

Then, when the bus was about to leave when the daddy standing beside me suddenly turn and asked if I could let him pass, so that he could get over to his wife side.

.

OKAY. Despite the bus being goddamn bloody packed and squeezy, I still let him pass given my kind and magnanimous nature.

.

.

For your goddamn information, THE FREAKING BUS RIDE IS LIKE 4 MINUTES ONLY, I REALLY UNDERSTAND HOW DISTANCE (50 cm) AND TIME (4 minutes) CAN FUCKING DO YOU GUYS APART. I REALLY DO.

.

.

.

SO DID YOU,YOUR WIFE AND YOUR CHILD STACKED ON TOP OF ONE ANOTHER ON THE FLIGHT FROM CHINA TO SINGAPORE?

.

.

.

So now, xin was standing right between the man and the woman. But it wasn't much of a problem YET. The sit was still left temptingly empty.

.

*screen screen* Ya. Everything sounds fine. No morons, No idiots. No Stupid woman.

.

.

Suddenly, the mommy shriek in this fucking irritating pitch with her distinctive mainland accent.

"Ni zuo! Ni zuo!

( You sit! You sit!)"

.

So the man went no no, bu yao bu yao or whatever.

.

.

And she went "Ni zuo!! Ni zuo!" for like 20000 million times followed by the no no bu yao bu yao.

.

.

The vicious cycle repeats itself over and over again, we could only await for WonderWoman to save the day.

.

.

.

Suddenly! The voice of righteousness shouted.

.

" WA LAOO!!

NI ZUO NI ZUO~!! "

.

.

The next thing I knew,

XIN'S FUCKING IRRITATED FACE

.

EMERGED from the crowd,

.

BARGED right past the china man

.

and

SAT RIGHT ON THAT EMPTY SIT.

.

.

leaving me to laugh uncontrollably like a total idiot.

And of course, ni zuo ni zuo ceased too

.

.

.

XIN. ZUO DE HAO !

.

.

.

.

Bye.

.

.