Emo Elmo

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I hate being alone.

But you can always get yourself accustomed to things.

Apparently, I'd just gotten used to hating it.

I've learnt to live with it, be it voluntarily or not.

Being alone doesn't not lead to loneliness.

And loneliness is not necessarily the aftermath of being alone.

Sometimes, I'll get so sick of the constantly lingering desolation...

I've grown tired of helping others solve their problems,

with no one bothered to help me with mine.

Trying to keep their smiles in place,

while mine struggled to hang loosely.

Well, it's not like anyone could help me anyway.

Aid seems to cripple the independence I painstakingly build up.

Yet none doesn't seemed to work either.

It's easier to be the shrink than to be the opposite.


Wtfuck..
What a disgustingly
unacceptable emo post.

Argh. Leave me alone.

I have my down times too.

Suckie Duckie

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WTFuckieFuckie ?!

You know the MRT people are gonna be damn irritating like Nana and start patroling the train to and fro the cabins to issue fines to people who eat or drink, with effect from I don't know when?

HOLY GUAN YIN MA.

That's so cb to the maximum.

It doesn't bother me at all actually.

I can pop lozenges into my mouth within split seconds.

But I'll work on popping other stuff like siew mai or McNuggets.

It's the battle between

Me and the Mrt people.

Grrr..

Are you nuts? You must be.

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I forgot to remove

my make-up yesterday.

Guess what?


SHOOM SHOOM SHOOM!


Those Pimple Police arrested me in the speed of light.


I didn't do it on purpose what. Don't I deserve a second chance.


But I'm currently still remanded in custody.


My lawyer, Ms. Moisturing Mask, is trying to salvage the situation.


Hoping to lighten the sentence.


We shall see when the final verdict comes.


This is motherfuckingly frustrating.

Butt-Crack versus Cleavage.

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I've changed my photos to

Gabriele Falloppio's instead.

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Not that he looked more gorgeous than me.
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BUT.

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He invented condoms.

THAT'S SO BLOODY COOL LUH.

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Look at his hum sup face.

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Did Santa received my SMS?

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Time is just like cleavage.

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You can definitely have some

if you squeeze.

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Flip-flops make my heels crack.

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I've always thought I could flirt my way through in life.


Until I met you...


A female lecturer.

Would you rather be David or Goliath?

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HELLO HI HEY YO..
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Today.

Or rather.

Now. I'm having this stubborn headache which just wouldn't go away.

Darn it.

Anyway, my new glasses is ready.

It looked nicer at the optical shop than it is now.

I don't know why.


It sucks. Big time.

Bo Bo or Bu Bu

HELLO.

Jt finally cut his hair...

THANKS TO

GORGEOUS ME!

Bye bye to Broom.

Hello to Brush.

Homo sapiens..You know?

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What are you doing later?


Sounds great.


Me?


I'm going to make a new pair of glasses later.


I'm very excited.


Are you excited too?


You're not?


Why?


I see.


Okay.


Gotta go then.


Bye bye.

Princess/Pr-incest

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I'm a piece of dead punctured char siew this time.


I can feel a hole in my stomach.




Oh. Right.
Belly button.

KAACHAAAA!

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This is WEIRD.

Nana and Jt actually have something in common.

Both of them are so in love with breathing in the cold air from the freezer that they could almost die for it.

They especially prefer those in the frozen food sections of supermarts.

Nana still asked Jt to turn on his freezer to the maximum and see if it works the same.

They are soo freaky.

Anyway. I'm weird too.

My toes are super itchy suddenly.

I can't stop wriggling them.

It's been so long since the bullets fly.

To you,

Ya YOU. The bloody gross one.

Get a life. Stop creeping around the cyber space.

Does anonymity thrills you?

Or are you plain ashamed of your identity?

Who are you to judge someone when you yourself is such a disgusting low-life.

I don't give the slightest god damn shit about whose old flame are you.

Now you definitely made me feel like spitting my phlegm right into your retarded dog face.

Oops can't. My phlegm refuses to leave now.

Well, who or what would wanna get humiliated that way.

Being flushed down the sewage system accompanied by my pee pee and poo poo would be a whole lot more honourable way to pass on.

So listen up you down syndrome big time virgina face.

Fuck off if you feel so unhappy.

Quit harping on things that nobody no longer care.

It just make you look like pathetic loser.

So pathetic that I could almost shed a tear for you if I were empathetic enough.

Too bad I'm not.

So here I am gently shoving my _l_ up your face.

Yeah. I don't know you at all and have never spoken to you.

But if I get a chance to do so now, I'll lovingly curse you in your stupid looking face till my throat's burnt.

So what?

You're a bitch and I AM GRACE.

So I simply have all the reasons in my encyclopedia to bloody screw you upside down and inside out.

Seriously, you have the motherfucking freedom to not read anyone's blog.

So if you choose to read one, then don't motherfuckingly be a bitch and make motherfucking comments alright.

If not, this is what you get. Me motherfucking motherfuck you.

Not happy?

Then motherfucking go to hell. I don't care.

There, you saw the window?

Wait. You'll eventually die of your cao-chee-bye-ness anyway.

** I hope I'm implicit enough, xin.

I edited this 4 times.

Chee Chee Bye Bye

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You're such a motherfucking whore-rrid.

That's whore-rribly balls-sucking.
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Relax CHOYA

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Yesterday was a clubbing day.


That's all.

I'll lose control if I elaborate.

Seriously.

dum dum dee daa

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I don't know why I have this weird and empty feeling in me.



Oh right.
Time for lunch.

mama mia

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I will never forgive myself

if I missed

Dong Fang Zhi Zhu

again today.

If i could grow a durian tree...

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Sometimes I feel that facebook quizzes are incredibly accurate.

I took a 'How many seconds would you survive in a fight with God' quiz.

And it says, "You died before the fight even started."

HAHAHA!!

Sounds like me.

Man. How true is that.

However, regarding my miraculous death,

I think that old man cheated.

yo mama's so fat that...

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FINALLY FIXED

MY BLOG TEMPLATE...

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So, I really wanna thank someone from the bottom and deepest of my heart.

This person have always been by my side, and is willing to wipe my backside and pluck my armpit hair.

YAY!!

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THANK YOU,

GORGEOUS ME!!

Three Cheers to

GORGEOUS ME!

I love you,

GORGEOUS ME!

.

XOXO XXOO OXOX

SoS

WHAT THE FUCK?!

My blog is screwed.


Okay.


Help?

TEE TEE TEE TEEEE

haii

I like to pinch people's elbow.

It's actually very frustrating.

Cause it just wouldn't hurt.

Apple is good.

You're WHORE-rrible

I don't like you.

At all.

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Anyway, can someone ANYONE help me with my fugly blog template.

So many people tell me how ah-lian-huey it is.

Fact is, I'm super not IT savvy or rather HTML savvy.

And all the codes seriously looks like ali baba's armpit hair to me.

At least teach me how to make a simple nice one.

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And another thing.

OEI SP! YES YOU!

SINGAPORE POLYTECHNIC!!

CAN YOU JUST FUCKING EXTEND OUR BLOODY HOLIDAYS OR NOT.

What a miserable fucked up institute.

Learn from NYP, you blinded assholes.

GOGO GAGA

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=nGpbooX1_2bCIHBHTowa1s_2fA_3d_3d

Nah. I command you to help me do the survey above.

Or grab your friends to help me.

Or post it on your blog.

I beg you.

Anyway, stop telling Michael Jackson to R.I.P lah people.

Especially on facebook.

It's not as if he won't if you didn't tell him to do so.

I bet he's darn sick of hearing the same thing.

Poor guy.

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Why not say something special.

Like...

"Remember to do the

moon walk and show Jesus.

I think he'll like it."

CHIMEI MEI

Went to Arena on Saturday

to help Dawn clear her balance bottle.

I'm blogging just to allow xin to grab the pictures.






Boogied away on the dance floor people.



I must give the I-am-very-young-and-shy look.
Old man loves that, I know.



Hello.. SEE. The bouncer gave me this..

*Big time bitch face*

That's Su and Dawn.
They're both primary school teachers.

Dawn is my elder sister. I swear.

I lost. So I've to drink.

That explains my fuck face.



Two old women grinding. What can I say.
Pathetic.

Let's hope Dawn doesn't read my blog.



Xin and Dawn finally wore heels to club.
And they were whinning away..
LOUSY.



Forgot to mention.

Some bloody cao ang moh pinch my butt and ran off.

NBCCB!
FUCK FUCK FUCK!

HO HO. They were all complaining how fair I am.

I'M SO PROUD.

Okay.

I've shared my gorgeous pictures with you.

Now you help me complete my survey below.

Don't be selfish.

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=nGpbooX1_2bCIHBHTowa1s_2fA_3d_3d

BYE bye.

ghhhhhhhhhah

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OEI OEI OEI!!!

READERS READERS!!

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COME COME !

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Go to the link below

and help me complete the god damn survey

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http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=nGpbooX1_2bCIHBHTowa1s_2fA_3d_3d

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Please help your poor blogger here.

As you can see.

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It's motherfucking school work.

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nbcb nbcb.


I'm gonna pick my nose and shoot boogie at you.


Anyway, I'm watching Powerpuff girls now.


And there's this sick kid in their class who eats paste.

Wtfuckfuckfuck.

I LOVE IT.

There are always weird kids in my class since young.

SHUCKS!

I remember this particular one who always picks her nose and bites her nails.

Then, she'll slowly shift her finger near her mouth, pretending to touch her lips and...

"UMM!" ...within the split second she ate her own nose sai.

She eats nails too.

Gross bitch.

I guessed she's really starving.

she sells mee siam. I buy mee siam.

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Note to gorgeous self :

Gotta study all day long today.
If not, NO PARTY FOR YOU TOMORROW.


Reply to gorgeous self :

Orh.

YOUR MAMA LOVES ME MORE THAN SHE LOVES YOU

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If you love me, you will give it to me.

HA-HA-HA!

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Anyway, I feel like eating mee siam.

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Yesterday I ate durians.

Now the smell still lingers on my fingers.

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Hee. Nice.

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If I can, I will stick a piece of durian in my nose.

Then I can sniff it whenever I want.

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LAOS GUS MAS

WHAT A

LAO GU MA DAY.

Tommy took my calculator,

and I can't calculate how many times

Brad Pitt kissed me today.

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Yesterday, I went to the pasar malam with three of my friends, one whose ears stick out, one with the buck tooth and one who will eat you if you say "Cheesseee".


Pasar malam is a food paradise.

I'm heading down to pasar malam again later.

I'm considering if I should bring Nana along..

Yes? No? Should I? Should I not?






I applied eye make up on one eye and walked around the house.

Cause I think it's very funny.

Deprived like a lao gu ma.

Actually I applied very nice lip gloss
And I'm dying to show off my kissable lips.
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But my nose behaved like a big time lao gu ma's ass.
It appeared ginormous.
Like a hum ji peng on the face.

So I covered it up.

Afterall, why torture you and me?

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I'm having a hard time deciding if I should cut my fringe short.

Shorter fringe supposedly makes people look younger I guess...

Okay, doesn't really make a difference on me I know.

END.

HEEYA!

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Tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk.

Just logged in to the nuffnang account to have a look.
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HUIYO!
Stupid stupid stupid lao gu ma readers.

So many of you come and read everyday.

And your nice and charming blogger is here blogging in silence.

Yet nobody bothered to click on the advertisement on the left.



What's the meaning of this huh huh HUH?

One click will die meh meh MEH?
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LAO GU MA MA

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Elaine is very lame.


"Eh san jie san jie, You should go get the LG new phone."

"Huh. Why."

"Cause it's called the Arena Phone."

GEEGOORR

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I think lao gu ma sounds very disgustingly funny.

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What do you think?

DO CHIU KNOW?

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People. DO CHIU KNOW?



Do you know that Baluku is a fruit??!!


And do you know there's a fruit call Chiku??!!

HAHAHAHAHHA! This is entertaining..


I've always thought Baluku is the official name of an Orh Bak Kak.

HAHAHAA.


Here's another one.

You know, there's an insect call Gu??!!


HAHAHAHAH. Hate how I can get amused so easily.

Looooove these crap.

ABALIPILAPOLAPEH

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A friend of mine has a crooked nose.

A friend of mine has ears that stick out.

A friend of mine has buck teeth.

A friend of mine looks like he's constantly in pain.

A friend of mine can find a spoon in his soup.

A friend of mine love guys.

A friend of mine will eat you if you say "Cheeseee".

Last but not least,

A sister of mine is a dwarf who's a midget.

Bery Vored.

I love to sing

'Sometimes When We Touch'

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And randomly touch Dawn.

This irritates her alot.

geeeegoook

I Swear I Love This

Christmas Carol

Big Time.

I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus

Underneath the mistletoe last night

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She didnt see me creep

Down the stairs to have a peep

She thought that I was tucked up

In my bedroom, fast asleep

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Then I saw mommy tickle Santa Claus

Underneath his beard so snowy white

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Oh, what a laugh it would have been

If daddy had only seen

Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night

Poor kid.

Must be crying and wondering,

"SANTA'S BLIND?"

pi pi pi

WHY???!!!

WHY WOULDN'T

MEDIACORP AIR

DONG FANG ZHI ZHU
FOR 2 HOURS TODAY?!

Fuck fuck fuck

FUCKKKKK..

Bloody mediacorp.

I'm gonna call you TCS.

OH HOT DAMN

I'm munching on these

very sweet cherries now.

Damn. They're heavenly.

Alright. Just sharing this thought that has been in me for the past few days.

Guess what. I realised I kinda lost interest in guys.

I know it sounds totally absurd. Well, I find it ridiculous too.

Xin told me STOP and NOT to think this way.

She says it would only get worst.

Don't worry people.

Failure to gain arousal from guys does not mean I'll go for girls.

There's no need to shun me.

And even if I do go for girls, I'll go for one that is prettier than me.

Geylang

TWO POSTS IN A ROW.

ENJOY.

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Went to Geylang for supper with xin, zL and Jt just now.

It's the first time I've been to geylang, what's more for supper.

I was totally thrilled.

The Fuck-Face Brothers.

Okay.. I can explain.

I always had this misconception that girls have to dress to look really dowdy when they go to geylang.

So I ended up looking like a big time dweeb.

Fuck it man. Fuck it totally.

I absolutely love this.

Straw mushroom is simply irresistable.

But the beef wrapping them to zL's finger nail.

It is so bloody

TINY, MINI, LITTLE,

SMALL, XIAO, SIKITTTTT.

Sometimes, I do prefer to

exhibit the masculine side of me.

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Wtf. I didn't ripped it off some Ali Baba okay.

It costs me 2 bucks for this fake handlebar moustache.